I have been having one of those days where I wanted to write something but couldn’t really think of anything that inspired me. Then I looked again at some questions I was asked to answer as part of an award my other blog received and thought I might go into a bit more detail here. (I will hopefully publish the award post in Devil’s Advocate later this week)
What are your vices?
And the short answer was;- Sex, cigarettes, alcohol, ink, musicians, and flirting.
Before going into more details I suppose I should say a bit about what vices actually are. According to Wikipedia (which we all know is never wrong) Vice is a practice or a behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a negative character trait, a defect, an infirmity, or merely a bad habit. A guilty pleasure perhaps…
Well I don’t totally agree with that definition and I fully admit I enjoy quite a lot of things that other people might think are immoral or even depraved. But I suppose I will take vices to mean things I enjoy which other people may think I should feel guilty about. So, with that said…
No guilt or apologies here, I like sex a lot. I like having sex, I like thinking about sex, I like reading about sex and I sometimes even like watching other people having sex. Should porn be a separate category? Well I like that too. I like the way my body feels and the way my thoughts and feelings change when having sex. I like sex with men. I like sex with women. I like to have sex as often as possible (which doesn’t mean I always can).
But hang on a moment… Wouldn’t 90% of people agree with 70% or more of what I have written above? What is really immoral or naughty about liking sex? And yet I bet a lot of people would consider it to be a vice. For me it is just part of being human, part of feeling alive… I only include sex as a vice here because society often depicts it in that way.
2) Cigarettes. I sometimes get the feeling that this might be the least socially acceptable thing on my list of vices. We all know smoking is bad for our health and I am supposed to feel ashamed to admit my nicotine habit. But I don’t feel ashamed. I like smoking, I pretty much always have done. It gives me pleasure. I like the taste, the feel, the ritual and everything associated with smoking cigarettes. I like the kick that I get from nicotine. I like a cigarette with my coffee, or with a glass of wine. I like inhaling deeply and exhaling my worries when I am feeling stressed.I like being with other smokers. I don’t smoke heavily (in my opinion) but I do enjoy every cigarette I smoke. If it is truly a vice it is a very pleasurable one for me.
3) Alcohol. Yes I like a drink. I dink moderately but regularly and if I want to I can drink quite a lot. I like wine and spirits. I like the slightly harsh and dry taste of alcoholic drinks. I like the effect it has on me. I like loosing a certain amount of control, I like the buzz, I like the feeling of relaxation. I like a drink with my dinner. I like drinking with friends. I like a drink when I’m flying. I like a drink to celebrate something. However; I don’t like being totally drunk and nor do I like being in the company of people who are drunk out of their minds.
4) Ink (Tattoos) I have several tattoos; a couple of big ones and a few small ones; if I had more money and didn’t have to be a bit conservative in my appearance for work reasons I would probably have a lot more. I love them. I love them on me and I love them on other people. I like the process of getting them. I like the way pain turns to heat and blood and then something beautiful emerges. All my tats are very personal. I like the fact that they are carved into my skin and are permanent; that my outward appearance is permanently changed by having them. At the moment I am young and I think they look pretty on me but I accept that one day I will be old… Yes, I’ll be an old hag and my tattoos will probably look quite ugly by then. But they will be as much a part of me as my sagging skin and the wrinkles and scars I didn’t choose to be part of me.
5) Musicians… And artists. I go out of my way to get to know such people. I have been and probably always will be a bit of a groupie. I love music and art and I am fascinated by the people who dedicate their lives to producing such beauty. Many a time I have blagged my way back-stage at gigs although these days I generally find myself on the guest list. I love mixing with such people. I like getting as close as possible (yes, even that close). But my aim is always to make deep connections, and fortunately I have usually managed to do that.
6) Flirting. This is the only vice I feel slightly guilty about because I admit it does sometimes get a bit out of hand and people’s feelings can get hurt. But I am naturally flirtatious. I like people. I like being friendly. I fully admit I also like the sense of power that sometimes comes from using my “womanly wiles”. Mostly even at my most flirtatious all I really want is to be friendly and get to know somebody better, but it can happen that people misread my signals or expect more than what I am offering. And even when I realize it is going in that direction, I find it hard to suddenly stop my flirting. My bad.