Favorite vices

I have been having one of those days where I wanted to write something but couldn’t really think of anything that inspired me. Then I looked again at some questions I was asked to answer as part of an award my other blog received and thought I might go into a bit more detail here. (I will hopefully publish the award post in Devil’s Advocate later this week)

What are your vices?

And the short answer was;- Sex, cigarettes, alcohol, ink, musicians, and flirting.

Before going into more details I suppose I should say a bit about what vices actually are. According to Wikipedia (which we all know is never wrong) Vice is a practice or a behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a negative character trait, a defect, an infirmity, or merely a bad habit. A guilty pleasure perhaps…

Well I don’t totally agree with that definition and I fully admit I enjoy quite a lot of things that other people might think are immoral or even depraved. But I suppose I will take vices to mean things I enjoy which other people may think I should feel guilty about. So, with that said…

1) Sex.



No guilt or apologies here, I like sex a lot. I like having sex, I like thinking about sex, I like reading about sex and I sometimes even like watching other people having sex. Should porn be a separate category? Well I like that too. I like the way my body feels and the way my thoughts and feelings change when having sex. I like sex with men. I like sex with women. I like to have sex as often as possible (which doesn’t mean I always can).

But hang on a moment… Wouldn’t 90% of people agree with 70% or more of what I have written above? What is really immoral or naughty about liking sex? And yet I bet a lot of people would consider it to be a vice. For me it is just part of being human, part of feeling alive… I only include sex as a vice here because society often depicts it in that way.

2) Cigarettes. I sometimes get the feeling that this might be the least socially acceptable thing on my list of vices. We all know smoking is bad for our health and I am supposed to feel ashamed to admit my nicotine habit. But I don’t feel ashamed. I like smoking, I pretty much always have done. It gives me pleasure. I like the taste, the feel, the ritual and everything associated with smoking cigarettes. I like the kick that I get from nicotine. I like a cigarette with my coffee, or with a glass of wine. I like inhaling deeply and exhaling my worries when I am feeling stressed.I like being with other smokers. I don’t smoke heavily (in my opinion) but I do enjoy every cigarette I smoke. If it is truly a vice it is a very pleasurable one for me.

3) Alcohol. Yes I like a drink.  I dink moderately but regularly and if I want to I can drink quite a lot. I like wine and spirits. I like the slightly harsh  and dry taste of alcoholic drinks. I like the effect it has on me. I like loosing a certain amount of control, I like the buzz, I like the feeling of relaxation. I like a drink with my dinner. I like drinking with friends. I like a drink when I’m flying. I like a drink to celebrate something. However; I don’t like being totally drunk and nor do I like being in the company of people who are drunk out of their minds.


4) Ink (Tattoos) I have several tattoos; a couple of big ones and a few small ones;  if I had more money and didn’t have to be a bit conservative in my appearance for work reasons I would probably have a lot more. I love them. I love them on me and I love them on other people. I like the process of getting them. I like the way pain turns to heat and blood and then something beautiful emerges. All my tats are very personal. I like the fact that they are carved into my skin and are permanent; that my outward appearance is permanently changed by having them. At the moment I am young and I think they look pretty on me but I accept that one day I will be old… Yes, I’ll be an old hag and my tattoos will probably look quite ugly by then. But they will be as much a part of me as my sagging skin and the wrinkles and scars I didn’t choose to be part of me.

5) Musicians… And artists. I go out of my way to get to know such people. I have been and probably always will be a bit of a groupie. I love music and art and I am fascinated by the people who dedicate their lives to producing such beauty. Many a time I have blagged my way back-stage at gigs although these days I generally find myself on the guest list. I love mixing with such people. I like getting as close as possible (yes, even that close). But my aim is always to make deep connections, and fortunately I have usually managed to do that.

6) Flirting. This is the only vice I feel slightly guilty about because I admit it does sometimes get a bit out of hand and people’s feelings can get hurt. But I am naturally flirtatious. I like people. I like being friendly. I fully admit I also like the sense of power that sometimes comes from using my “womanly wiles”. Mostly even at my most flirtatious all I really want is to be friendly and get to know somebody better, but it can happen that people misread my signals or expect more than what I am offering. And even when I realize it is going in that direction, I find it hard to suddenly stop my flirting. My bad.

7 responses to “Favorite vices

  1. No wait, I got the year wrong. I quit alcohol in November 2011! I still miss my wine. 😦

    • Have you tried Feverfew (sp?) or the migraine? Not that I’m encouraging you to drink or anything! 😉

      • I haven’t tried that, no. Interesting … I shall look into it. Not that I want to get back into drinking almost a glass a day like I used to, (which probably made your burst out laughing!), but like right now I’m in a hotel in Doha taking care of my dad while he recovers from surgery. We’ve both said that a glass of wine would be nice … but they don’t seem to sell alcohol here, so even my dad couldn’t get a glass of wine or a beer. Same for pork; but I don’t eat that anyway. And since we’ve been ordering room service this whole time, (due to my dad convalescing), it never occurred to me till just now, that I don’t think I’ve seen a restaurant anywhere in this (very nice indeed) hotel. I must investigate that before leaving … That would be a *very* interesting cultural difference. No restaurants in the hotels … Not judging. Just interesting.
        Anyway, thanks for the tip! I do believe in herbs very much.

  2. As always, a great read and made me laugh. I can identify with the drinking. I had to quit alcohol November 2012 due to migraines. I tried everything but nothing ever worked and finally I just couldn’t endure the pain. For me, I loved to drink when I cooked. Ah yes, red wine whilst cooking. I have also subsequently pretty much quit cooking. I realise that I hate cooking and only enjoyed it when I was buzzed! LOL. So now cooking is a chore. 😦
    The old hag part was funny. Even when you are an old hag, you will still be an awesome old hag and probably even more witty and funny. Just get a tattoo of a Shar pei and then you can say, hey, I’m still less wrinkly than my tattoo. And get another one of a skull (if you don’t already have one) and say, hey at least I look better than that. Or get a tattoo of how you look right now with all your tats and say, this is how I used to look, so it was totally worth it.
    I reckon you’re a healthy honest woman. People do a hell of a lot of stuff to their body that isn’t healthy. Smoking is just one thing on the list. I think almost everybody has something from the list. I mean, what’s on the list – medication (even just across the counter stuff), a million kinds of food, a million kinds of drinks, alcohol obviously, caffeine, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, even high heels are bad for your feet. I’d be shocked if there were even 3 people on earth who could honestly say they do nothing from the list of unhealthy stuff.
    I think a lot of people just like to be judgmental. They’ll *find* a reason. Even if you became a non-smoking, non-drinking vegan walking around in cotton robes and barefoot, they’d judge you for being a nutter.

  3. Pingback: Award « Devil's Advocate

  4. I love what you wrote cuz it’s honest, and we seem to have the same “vices” ;).
    Now going back to the first point, sex. I don’t see any problem with it being a vice, unless you’re using it as a “drug”. I say this cuz sex for me goes beyond relaxation, intimacy and feeling relaxed. Sex takes away all my negative feelings, stress, anxiety and ultimately (though for a short period of time) depression. I always tell my shrink sex for me is my drug of choice, it’s better than actual drugs, and alcohol (alcoholism runs rampant in my family). So why not kick back and relax, even if you have to work hard at it in order for IT to be great? :D.
    As far as smoking, gurrrl, do we have one more thing in common. I love smoking, I love the way it makes me feel every time I take a deep drag and inhale all the way down to my stomach. I love how fast it soothes me, and the buzz I get from that very first drag in the early morning hours waiting for the bus to go to work. To compensate though, I do drink 3-4 liters of water a day and use plenty of moisturizing creams. A girl’s gotta look her best al the time and years are doing their work at wrinkles, aren’t they?
    So, in conclusion, go on and do what you like most. Who cares what’s considered a vice, sin, pet-peeve, and so on. Fuck it!!! We’ve been judged long enough, and we’ve judged ourselves for even longer.
    Love ya

    • Hi Luc. More agreement here. I also find sex is very therapeutic on many levels, in fact it is probably the biggest natural high we are capable of experiencing. It is well worth staying in practice!
      As for smoking, I do drink lots of water and take my vitamins and I use natural skin creams. Generally I am quite healthy and active and so far my skin is surviving quite well.
      Overall I pay less and less attention to other people’s judgement and try to live as fully and enjoyably as possible while sticking to my own morals.

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