I have written about this subject before several times and I don’t think I am writing anything here that is particularly new from me. However, going by the tags and phrases that draw people to my blog it is something that people are interested in. Moreover it is a subject that seems to have become topical lately.
This week in the UK a conservative politician came out as being bisexual. It provoked some discussion on talk radio and newspapers; most of which seemed unusually frank and honest. During the last few weeks I have also read various blog articles discussing bisexuality. Perhaps the topic i in vogue… Much of the discussion has centred on the fact that the “B” in LGBT has often been ignored.
My own perception is that bisexuals are often ignored or marginalised by both heterosexuals and homosexuals. We are the ones who are either greedy sex maniacs or pathetic individuals who just can’t make up our minds. In my time I have met a few men who presumed my bisexuality was their golden key to wild threesomes and I’ve met a few women who thought I just didn’t have the self confidence or honesty to come out as a lesbian.
I am now in a very happy relationship with another woman. We love each other, we have serious future plans together and we have great sex with each other. But neither of us are lesbians. We are both attracted to both genders, indeed we have both had more relationships with men than women. Our bisexuality is one of the things that bonds us and I seriously doubt that our relationship would be the same or would work at all if either one of us were a lesbian.
Bisexuals are bisexuals. We are not failed heterosexuals or closet homosexuals. We are as attracted to both sexes as as strongly as gays are attracted to people of the same sex and straights are attracted to the opposite sex.
Bisexuality is our normality. I have never known what it is like not to be attracted to both genders (and I wouldn’t want to).
Bisexuals are as individual as any other group in the sexual spectrum. Some of us have a lot of sex. Some have very little. Some of us are quite promiscuous, some of us aren’t. Some of us are monogamous in relationships while others are more open and poly-amorous. Some are sexually conservative while others have more kinky tastes. The uniting factor is simply that we can be attracted to both men and women.
I have always seen bisexuality as a blessing. I certainly wouldn’t want to be any other way. I don’t feel that I personally have really been discriminated against or seriously abused because of my bisexuality, but some have been. We do have some of our own issues and needs. There can be complications bisexuals face which others don’t. But I don’t want to over emphasise that. Overall I think our bisexuality gives us an understanding and a flexibility in many aspects of life that others sometimes lack. What I do think we have been victims of as a group is not being taken seriously. Perhaps that is beginning to change.