Sophie and I have a flat. We are living together. We have a joint bank account. We are actually “Melded” or registered at the local municipality headquarters as a couple. It has been in the planning for a long time and now the reality has caught up and it feels normal and good.
There have been a lot of small details to sort out and some more complicated issues, and all this while I have been running around Europe doing my normal work and Sophie has been reorganising her department at school and marking semester papers… I have no idea how we pulled it off!
But we did and our over-riding feeling at the end of our first day at “home”, was that it was meant to be.
Of course shopping for furniture and decorating everything according to our tastes has been a lot of fun and we are nowhere near finished yet. In fact our living room is minimal to the extreme! (It will not stay that way for long). We gave priority to our bedroom and Tina’s bedroom. We pretty much gave Tina carte Blanche to decorate her room as she wanted because it is very important that she feels totally comfortable in her new home. We wondered if there would be some settling in problems; after all the reality of her mother and another woman setting up home together is quite different to the occasional visits she has witnessed previously. But Tina has been a total star and just as excited as us and when it comes to decorating her room she has much better taste than I did at her age.
Although in many ways this move is just a development of things that have been happening for a long time, it is in reality a big step for the three of us individually and it is important to me that we each feel positive about it, and I think I can safely say we do.
It’s odd. I have had a lot of boyfriends in the past and lived together short term with a couple of them; once at his place and once at mine. I guess those relationships felt serious enough at the time, well I know they did… But this is completely different and not just because we are both women, in fact we still don’t really think of ourselves as a lesbian couple as such although I guess we are. No, it’s just that everything about this move and this relationship is on a different scale than anything I have known before… And yet it all fits like a glove. It was meant to be.
So, the bedrooms are more or less done. Sophie and I have a small en suite shower room with a bide. We also have a small alcove joining the bedroom which we have made into shrine/ritual chamber and repository for our “spiritual” books. There is a family bathroom which is all finished. We have a small fitted kitchen that doesn’t need any more work. But there is still a lot to be done in the living room and dining area, the entrance hall and a small extra room which is full of boxes at the moment… And I still have a lot of books, clothes and ornaments to bring over from the UK… But we don’t need to rush..
Meanwhile life goes on as normal. I have a new home which means a lot to me but I still won’t actually be at home any more often than I used to get home to the UK. I am still traversing Central Europe teaching, training and promoting for my company. I will also be returning to the UK as often as finances allow to visit my mum. But going home now will have a different meaning. As much as I love our new apartment it isn’t the building itself that I will miss while I’m working so much as the people who share it with me; my new family, the people I love the most in this world.
Oh and actually there are four in our family now… We promised Tina a new pet but apartment life is not good for dogs or even cats really… Sophie and I had toyed with the idea partly to celebrate our darker tastes and underline the fact that some of our childhood fears had turned to adult fascination… But it was our mini naturalist daughter who insisted… We have insisted that Tina takes care or the feeding (which I’ll admit to being slightly squeamish about)… So anyway, meet Sam!