Category Archives: Feminism

Eight Years Of Corruption

Well, this particular blog has been completely dormant for about a year meaning I haven’t posted here in that time. I have been posting in Devil’s Advocates a bit more regularly but have a been a bit lapse there as well. However I got a notification from WordPress that it is eight years since I started blogging here and thought this might be a good time for a status update and some thoughts on where I and my writing are going from here.

Eight years does not seem long at all when you say it; but it is fair to say that my life has changed almost entirely in that time. My first post on this blog (which was called “Cassie Being Cassie” at that time) began by parodying Brigit Jones Diary and making reference to my then boyfriend and to the fact that I was an eclectic pagan witch. I had to cringe while reading it back to myself as it now seems like a very young and innocent version of the person I have become. https://justcassie.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/5/

There are some who would certainly use the word corruption to describe the process of growth I have been through in the intervening time; but I would prefer to use the terms enlightenment and maturation. For those who haven’t been following my blogs, the short version of the last eight years is that I became a Satanist, got a girlfriend, moved to Switzerland, adopted a daughter, had several promotions at work and wound up being leader of an independent Satanic coven.

“Cassie Being Cassie” changed to “Sophie and Cassie-Not Safe For Work” after Sophie and I got together. We have kept the blog going intermittently since then. At first it was a mixture of our philosophical and spiritual thoughts and opinions (we are both Satanists), quite a lot of sexual content and reblogs of things we liked on the blogs we followed. As time went by we moved most of the Satanic stuff to our other main blog “Devils Advocates”, and this blog was kept for reblogs and occasional musings on our sexual tastes and fetishes and thoughts on sex and gender politics. As more time passed our daughter came of age and became a Satanist herself, contributing to Devil’s Advocates and starting her own blog.

So where are we now, and what does the future hold? Well, more specifically, where am I now… (Sophie and Tina will speak for themselves later).

After a nervous first few months, Satanism became the cornerstone of my life and my world. I am not going to say much more about it here beyond this paragraph except to give an indication of the direction I am going in at the end of this post. I concede that my views and lifestyle are considered to be evil by many people. I think they are wrong in many ways but I don’t run away from the label as I once did. If Satan is evil, then so am I. I have given up all my previous ideas about morality which I now see as a purely subjective and unscientific concepts in the first place. I live by Satanic will and imperatives alone. I am not good. I have no desire to be anything other than honest to myself and my own wants and needs. I understand that what I have just said can sound very selfish and shallow to the uninitiated; but it really isn’t, and I have explained that more than enough in various blog entries. I am happy in my own skin and that is what matters. Still, as leader of a coven and as a relatively well known Satanist I hope I can continue to be a positive example of what modern Satanism is. Further thoughts specifically about Satanism will be continued in Devil’s Advocates and “another project…”

Musings about sex played quite a large part in this original blog and continued when Sophie joined in. It is still something I think about quite a lot because I enjoy it and it seems to be something that society as a whole is often conflicted about in ways that make me wonder how “civilized” or mature our species really is on this (and many other matters)! Sophie and I live by our own rules. Finding each other has probably been the biggest blessing in our lives and our relationship continues to be defined by very passionate love for each other. But we are both bisexual, or perhaps omnisexual as modern terminology catches up with the reality of people’s varied sexual tastes and experience. We have sex with each other and with others, sometimes together and sometimes separately. I have always thought that sex frequently has spiritual dimensions and overtones and I still firmly believe and experience that. However, I’m not ashamed to say I sometimes just like an adventurous or satisfying fuck and that could be with a man or a woman or any combination thereof! Sophie and I have always liked experimenting and we both enjoy various aspects of BDSM. We like porn too. We have our own tastes which for myself I like to think of as sophisticated and refined, but that includes some things which others might describe as hardcore. I do have a problem with porn though. Ideally porn and prostitution should be empowering to all involved; that includes the consumers and those who pose for pictures or provide sexual services. But it is naive to assume it always is that way. I do my best to avoid anything where there is a suspicion that anyone has been forced or coerced into taking part or where they have been filmed without their knowledge or consent. I’m sure however I have sometimes derived pleasure from porn that was not made in a way I would approve of and that makes me uncomfortable. I am thinking of joining or even starting some organisations that try to keep sex workers safe and increase respect for their profession; while at the same time reducing the sense in which prostitution and pornography are views as inherently bad or wrong. As long as meaningful consent and real choice are involved, I think erotica and all those who work in the sex industry are healthy and deserving of more respect than they normally get.

As I approach what some would call middle age, I am more comfortable in and with my (now heavily inked) body than ever before. And I hope and wish that all my regular readers will continue to enjoy the sexual aspect of their lives in whatever way satisfies them for a long time to come.

Looking to the future… In terms of my work-life I am now a senior manager in my company and have ideas and plans for improving my own prospects as well as those of my colleagues and the company itself. It will mean working even harder, but I have never been afraid of that. This should bring financial and material rewards for Sophie and I and we are thinking about moving home although staying in Switzerland. I am also going to apply for Swiss citizenship now that Britain seems obsessed with the national suicide that is called Brexit.

I also want to make time to concentrate on several writing projects I have in mind. I always wanted to invest more in writing but have often struggled to fit it in between all my other activities. I have now decided to make my writing ambitions a bit more concrete and hopefully my experience in blogging over the past eight years will be an advantage in that. One of my writing projects will be a semi-autobiographic book about Satanism which has been at the back of my mind for a number of years. I am also working on ideas for travel articles, and novels exploring sex and relationships in a way that I have always wanted to read. I have a few science fiction and fantasy ideas as well. In order to give myself some time for all those projects I am going to step back from blogging. I’m not going to say I won’t contribute at all to our blogs in future; if I have something I want or need to say I will do so…

Our blogs will not stop though. Sophie and Tina (who is now a thoughtful and enthusiastic Satanic woman in her own right) will continue with Devil’s Advocates and Smokers Writes, and may even continue to post here from time to time.

We are a strong family trio, with fingers in many pies, and our story will continue…

 

Without Consent It Is Rape

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A girl goes to a party, drinks too much, wakes up disheveled and disoriented behind a dumpster, battered and bruised and is taken to hospital. Over the course of the next few days the full horror of the abuse she has been subjected to becomes apparent. But at least there were witnesses to what happened to her (who may in fact have prevented the rape from being even worse) and the rapist has been caught. So surely justice will come quickly and fully? Not so. She then has to endure a whole year in which she is portrayed as the promiscuous guilty party who drank too much and pretty much deserved what she got. The perpetrator is portrayed as a normally good guy who just drank too much and got a bit carried away. The jury were not fooled and found him guilty on all charges. The judge however thought he deserved a break, after all he was an athlete with a glittering career ahead of him and why should half an hour of recklessness spoil his whole life; so the judge gave him the minimum sentence possible.

Well that is the story of Brock Turner the rapist and his victim. You have probably seen it in the news and read about it on the Internet. It doesn’t quite end there. The victim wrote an impact statement which was so articulate and so inspiring that it has gone viral. We have given a link to it at the end of this post and would urge absolutely everybody to read it. We think it should form the basis of a whole series of social and sex education classes in America and the civilised world.

We wanted to blog about this because we often write about sex. We are sex positive feminists. We like sex. We think sex is healthy and good. We have as much sex as possible with each other and sometimes with others. We enjoy what some call darker or kinky sex. There have been times in our lives when we could have been described as promiscuous. NONE OF THAT GIVES ANYBODY PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH US OR ANYBODY ELSE. WITHOUT MEANINGFUL CONSENT, IT IS RAPE. ALWAYS.

We feel strongly about this because in writing this blog we assume our sentiments and our understanding is shared by other liberated and mature women and men and we want in our small way to normalise sex and sexuality; to bring it out of the closet and make it something that adults can enjoy and discuss openly and maturely.

But the reality is that there are some troglodyte boys out there who may never become real men and may never understand the realities of sex. So here is a message for anybody that is bordering on that mentality…

It is true that some women enjoy consensual sex a lot. Some women like to fuck and be fucked in all sorts of ways and situations as long as they give meaningful consent. Yes, some women, including us, like to be sexy, perhaps even provocatively so. But without consent you are not allowed to do anything. Without consent, you don’t even have the right to use our first names. We hope that is clear. 90% of people get it. If you are in the ignorant minority who don’t get it, seek counselling, because you are wrong and you risk hurting somebody and spending many years in prison.

Here is a link to the letter Brock Turner’s victim wrote and read out in court. It is a long and harrowing read but ultimately empowering and perhaps even hopeful. We urge all our readers to read it and let all its messages and implications sink in.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.nw8RMQYbe#.otGD1VNb5

Sex, Porn, Feminism, Victimhood

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I guess this post will get us into trouble with some. Somebody sent me a link to the following article and asked for my opinion. It is an article that raises so many issues and which by implication accuses Sophie and me of being non feminists and much worse. I am going to try and address some of the points raised in the article. I want to start by saying however that while I disagree with the tone and conclusions of the article, I do think some of the issues raised deserve serious and ongoing consideration.

The article can be found here.http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/12/09/the-sexiest-oppression/

The article by Natasha Chart starts with some very dubious and convoluted claims. Firstly she gives scant details of a story from Britain’s Daily Mirror in which an elderly woman is said to have died after a sex game went badly wrong. She then states quite categorically that in a just, feminist world, the neighbor who was involved in the sex game should have been tried for murder. In fact she equates his actions with the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. Now we have looked at the account in The Mirror and it is fair to say there is not much more detail there than in Ms Chart’s account. What is clear is that the local authorities were convinced that there was more evidence for a tragic accident than for murder. Ms Chart wants us to believe that is because we live in a “male supremasist” world. The fact remains however that the only judge who has found the neighbor guilty of being a murderous, woman hating, monster is Ms Chart herself; and this is based solely on the scant evidence contained in a tabloid newspaper and her own very jaded opinions.

Then within a few tortuous, logic defying sentences such as these;-

…This is how you turn oppression into a titillating taboo that isn’t taken seriously. This is how you turn public health and safety threats like rape, torture, and murder, into “sex.” Which is private.

Talking about sex in public is obscenity. So talking about the way women are threatened and physically abused becomes obscenity and, in turn, becomes “sex.” As a result, everything about women’s bodies and oppression is turned into private obscenity that can’t be discussed like other topics…

She blames men in general, pornography, church and religious authorities and women like Sophie and myself for all that is wrong in the world and for the fears and prejudices that clearly dominate her daily life. She finally comes to the conclusion;-

…There is no part of male supremacist culture that doesn’t believe that women owe men sex, by which it is usually meant, she owes him sexual subservience and arousal over his use of force or coercion. Porn and church teachings are simply the most prominent outlets for this view, almost universally held…

I wonder how she would account for women such as Sophie and myself who even without men around, play sexual and psychological games of dominance and submission? I wonder if she is capable of understanding that such activities can be done with love and can be deeply pleasurable and fulfilling to both parties equally (no matter which role they are playing and no matter what genders they happen to be)?

Well I doubt that she can. She states in the same article that she was in the past a serial victim of  abusive relationships. And frankly it is the cries and screams of a serial victim who blames the world for her own mistakes that sing out most loudly in this article. That sounds harsh, doesn’t it? And I don’t want to be drawn in to blaming the victim, but…

We have all known women (and sometimes men) who repeatedly wind up in abusive relationships of various types. We try to warn them, but they won’t or can’t listen. Many of us know people who repeatedly have problems with drugs, or alcohol, or gambling… We cannot help the victim until the victim realises the truth of their predicament and owns it. Yes there are some total bastards out there; there are sick, twisted and vicious men and women… But not all men or women are bad because of the sins of the ones we are attracted to… Drugs and alcohol are not bad in themselves… Sometimes we have to acknowledge that the problem belongs to us and stop blaming others and being angry at half the world.

And sadly the article we are discussing here is so infused with that kind of mis-directed anger that it will find no uncritical audience except for other similarly damaged souls.

It is genuinely sad because it does touch on issues which need to be discussed and grappled with more openly. Even those of us who describe ourselves as “sex positive feminists” have to admit that there is still far too much exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry.

Some weeks ago Sophie and I were looking through a site we often visit for sexy and pornographic images. Some of the images we enjoy would be described as fairly hardcore by some and may elude to, or depict quite clearly, things associated with bondage, dominance, submission and mild violence. (Anybody shocked by that revelation has not been following our blogs very closely). However while browsing that site we came across something that made us pause and indeed left us feeling bad and sullied. It was a short video gif which showed a woman being subjected to very aggressive sex by two men at the same time. We both felt that the woman was not consenting, that she was probably full of drugs and that she looked absolutely terrified and out of control. We felt as if we were witnessing an actual rape. We felt sick and reported the image. But I have to admit that reporting that image probably didn’t achieve much and almost certainly did nothing to help the woman concerned. And we can’t escape from the fact that while we choose to believe most of the pornographic images we look at involve people who are fully consenting at every level; some clearly aren’t.

So what are our options? Let’s remove any semblance of kid gloves. We are two women who are unashamed hedonists, who have enjoyed colourful and diverse sexual encounters with each other and with other women and men. Our sexual tastes and fetishes cover most of the BDSM spectrum and go well beyond that. We enjoy porn. Most of our friends and acquaintances have similarly liberal views and tastes in matters of sex and sexuality. But we acknowledge that there is still a lot of exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry and there are real victims.

We could spurn all forms of sexual enjoyment outside of each other. We could stop looking at any form of pornography for fear that there may have been exploitation in the making of it. We could go further and campaign against all forms of pornography. Equally we could campaign against the very notion of prostitution where there is also undoubtedly gross exploitation. And besides all that we could hate all men and blame them for the perversion of sex, sexuality and gender roles in society. I suspect that is what Ms Chart would like us to do.

But this would not work and would ultimately be disempowering for us and all women and men. It would be defeatist. It would be like saying men have fucked up everything to do with sex so we should retreat to some puritanical version of vanilla sexuality where there can be no danger of exploitation so long as we all repeat the same, supposedly feminist, mantra. And if we happen to have tastes which are not vanilla we must remember that this is only because we have been brainwashed by the previous Male Supremacist society. In other words we must remember at all times that We are all victims and live accordingly!

But why should we allow one form of oppressive orthodoxy to be replaced by another one? For hundreds of years the Christian Church and other religious institutions have sought to control people, especially women, by policing sexuality; by determining what we are allowed to do and think in matters of sex and then condemning everything else as sinful. Many women of my parents generation would be envious of the sexual freedoms and independence we enjoy. Moreover those who happen to be gay or transgender or who can’t be pigeon holed anywhere on the sexuality spectrum are just beginning to enjoy liberties and acceptance that their predecessors could not of imagined. We should not allow victim driven forms of feminism to rob us of the freedoms we enjoy and which were many years in the winning.

What we must do however is enjoy our sexual freedoms responsibly. Where we see exploitation and crime we must treat it and report it as such. Some people can be empowered by their consensual participation in the production of pornography, and nobody has the right to judge them for that. But as consumers of pornography we must insist on only buying into that type of porn. We should aid in the hunting down and prosecution of all criminal activity in the sex industry. We should flag up anything suspect as soon as we see it. We should only pay for and share material we are confident is consensual and fully legal. This will not cure exploitation quickly but if there is any truth in the capitalist idea of market forces, eventually the exploitative, criminal side of the sex industry will be squeezed out.

We should aim to defeat the misogynists, the exploiters and the criminals by acting as responsible and empowered adults who are comfortable with our sexuality and our gender. Fearful and vindictive victims are unlikely to achieve anything except by totalitarian control.

Cassie

Women, Porn and Fashion

I got involved this week in a fairly heated discussion of the infamous Miley Cyrus video.

Now I am not a fan of Miley Cyrus, her style of music or the sector of the music industry she represents. I would never have watched her video were it not for all the fuss about it. But now I have watched it and to be honest my first impression was, “Really… Is that all? Is this what all the fuss is about?”

So my opinion is this. I fully support Miley’s right to portray herself and her songs as she sees fit (so long as it really is her choice). The video is really quite tame. There is some partial nudity but we don’t see her breasts or any other private parts. There are allusions to and suggestions of sexual activity, but nothing graphic. My only concern about that was that they didn’t seem particularly necessary. I don’t think this video gives anybody the right or justification to accuse Miley of being cheap or a slut. If partial nudity is seen as pornographic these days we really have turned the clock back in a negative way.

If Miley or any other woman were required or obliged to portray themselves in a sexual manner to have any chance in the music industry I would be entirely and vehemently against it; but if it is their own choice I support their right to be seen as who they choose to be seen as.  I think that women have a tougher ride in the music industry (and many other spheres of life) than men do, however there always have been and still are women who achieve success on their own terms without having to rely on a sexy or sexual image. But there have always been and always will be some who choose to use their sexuality as part of the package. Since I don’t think there is anything wrong with sex in itself, I support their right to do that. Moreover, if Miley or any other woman freely chooses to express their sexuality as a significant part of their persona; this is not in itself evidence that they are cheap, nasty or unworthy of respect.

But  would say that, wouldn’t I? I have previously described myself as a sex positive feminist and I do tend to be criticised by feminists who have a more conservative view. Still, I stick to my beliefs and opinions.

The Miley discussion I became embroiled in developed into a discussion of the way young women are damaged by porn and fashion.

I agree that women as individuals and the image of women as a whole can be damaged by both pornography and fashion. On the whole though I think fashion is more dangerous.

Let’s start with porn. As regular readers will know I am not against porn. I myself enjoy some of it. However, there is some that I don’t personally like and there is some that I think is thoroughly wrong and should be illegal. In terms of how porn can effect women negatively I have several areas of concern.

Firstly in terms of the production of porn it is very important that all those who are filmed or photographed (women and men) do so of their own free will. Any kind of coercion including the use of drugs, bribery or blackmail; in my opinion means everyone involved in manipulating the subjects should be arrested and sent to prison for a long time.

Secondly no participants in pornographic images should be (or be made to look like) they are under the age of consent.

Thirdly I find any depiction of rape perverse and I don’t think any film or photo-shoot should be allowed to convey the impression that women in general want or need to be raped. Such things do exist and they are very damaging to the way men are encouraged to think about women. (For any men reading this who haven’t got it yet;- it may be that some women fantasise about being taken by force but this does not mean that ANY woman wants to be raped. If you don’t understand where the difference is, please stay at home until you have had suitable therapy).

Finally porn which objectifies women as creatures that have no other desire or purpose other than sex, is false, dangerous and wrong in every way. It is totally demeaning to women; and to men as well, because you’d have to be totally fucking stupid to believe any such thing!

But where porn portrays women as intelligent creatures with interesting lives and professions who just happen to enjoy sex, I have no objection to it. While there is an increasing amount of pornography that is made by women with women’s tastes in mind, it is still an industry largely driven by men and male tastes. There are inherent dangers in that in terms of the way women are portrayed, some of which I have mentioned. Fashion on the other hand is an industry which is still geared more to the tastes of women, and in the context of this discussion I think that makes it more dangerous.

I have a passing interest in fashion. I have an artistic eye, I like to look at new designs and styles in clothing. I do occasionally read fashion magazines. However I have personal tastes and my own style, and due to my own philosophical beliefs I object to the herd mentality that the fashion industry engenders. My main concern however, and the biggest danger to women in fashion is the way women are portrayed physically.

The size zero debate is nothing new but it is frustrating that the fashion industry still hasn’t mended it’s ways. Images like those below are still far too common in the magazines that nearly all girls and young women read at some time or other.

I honestly find the above images more disturbing than most of the pornographic images I have ever seen. The problem is that fashion is to a large extent aimed at adolescent girls and young women at a time in their development when self image is very important, physical and hormonal changes are ongoing and they are very susceptible to subtle programming.

The obvious truth is that the above women look more sick than beautiful, but that truth is not so easy to see when you are fourteen, desperately trying to find your place in society and dieting gives a sense of control when everything else around you is chaos and flux. Trying to emulate these so called super models actually causes women to die. It also imprints an utterly false image of what a fit and attractive woman should look like.

And even when we are a little older, the models portraying the clothes people my age and over should be wearing certainly don’t look much like any healthy person I know.

But the implication of the fashion industry is not that the models are wrong. They should not look more like us; we should always try to look more like them. There is a whole industry of diet products worth billions in addition to the fashion houses themselves that is based on the lies of the fashion industry. Women of all ages are constantly judged against an impossible and unhealthy standard and therefore encouraged to feel bad about themselves. All for the sake of the mighty dollar.

The truth is the fashion industry is both repressing and depressing many women and it is based on a concept that we should all be the same. I find it more dangerous and more insidious than porn in almost every way. Moreover porn seems to be much more realistic and democratic in the physical depiction of women. Porn stars have flesh and they have curves, like most of us do. You can find small breasted and large breasted women. You can find middle aged women with sagging skin if that turns you on…

If Miley Cyrus’s image was an encouragement for women to conform to a certain physical size and appearance and risk their health in doing so, I would be very critical of her. And in fact in the Wrecking Ball video that is the only aspect I would be critical of since with Hollywood money and make-up artists she is not far off the size zero… Personally I’d like to see her develop a less plastic image and put on a few more pounds, it would make her look more human and sexy. But what her detractors seem most critical of is the fact that she has shed her Disney Princess image and alluded to the fact that she is a woman who has sexual appetites. Good for her.

The truth is there is a whole spectrum of experience and personality between the stereotypes of the virgin and the whore that conservatives seem comfortable with. It is about time they grew up.

The F Word and the C Word

The other day I was fumbling to get something out of my handbag in a hurry and in my haste I dropped it and everything fell out on the floor. “Fuck!” I exclaimed angrily. One of my colleagues looked at me and said with feigned surprise; “Cassie, I’m shocked to hear you use that kind of language. I thought you were a nice girl!”

There are all sorts of suppositions in that sentence alone and I probably won’t go into all of them them here. My job involves teaching young people, supervising other teachers and doing promotional work on behalf of my company. Therefore I generally try to moderate my language during most of my working hours. Hopefully my colleagues don’t hear me swear that much; but of course I do swear, I do use profanities and I probably drop the F Bomb several times a week if not more. Does that make me bad? Answers on a postcard please!

I don’t particularly like excessive use of the word “fuck”, and I don’t like hearing children use it. However I visit relatives in parts of Ireland where it is so much part of the local vernacular that I hardly even notice people saying it after a while. (And I probably suffer from “potty mouth” for several days after I return)!

I don’t really know why fuck is such a popular expletive. Probably originally because of it’s sexual connotations in a society which viewed sex itself as dirty and forbidden. These days I think it is just the sound of it as you say it; for a short word it has a strange power to convey whatever anger, frustration or other emotion you are feeling at the time it is said.

I also use the word in it’s sexual context. I quite like to say I like to fuck because that confounds the taboos associated with the word and the act itself. I don’t object to the word and I certainly don’t object to the act of penetrative sex. Moreover the “F” word can take on all sorts of nuances depending on how it is said, shouted, whispered or moaned, and the exact sexual context in which it is spoken.

So I really don’t have a problem with the “F” word.

I think I do, however, have a problem with the “C” word. C**t is probably still the most taboo word in the English language and I shall avoid using the word in full here so as not to offend anyone especially the powers at WordPress.

I never use the “C” word as a swear word or expletive. I do however sometimes use it to refer to part of the female anatomy. Apparently the word has  long history of usage in the English language and even Shakespeare alludes to it in a couple of his plays. However it has (at least in the last few centuries) almost always been used in a vulgar, offensive and derogatory way.

Is it being overly feminist to wonder why part of my own body should always be seen as something vulgar, disgusting and insulting? After all, I must admit I have occasionally referred to idiotic men as “Dickheads.” Is that any less derogatory?

I honestly don’t know. I am somewhat on the fence on this issue. In the 1970s many feminists fought and pretty much succeeded in removing the word from common usage. However I think this may have only increased it’s power to shock and offend people. More recently however writers such as Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues have sought to reclaim the “C” word in pretty much the way homosexuals reclaimed the words “queer” and “gay”. I kind of agree with that view and I don’t see why I should think of my lover’s c**t as any less lovely than her lips or her eyes. On the other hand I wouldn’t want the “c” word to become more widely used as an expletive in the same way that the “f” word is.

I don’t want our genitals to become even more associated with dirt, anger or aggression.

Slut

I am very busy this weekend getting ready for some new courses I have to teach so I don’t have as much time as I would like to write something about this issue.

I think the three posts I have reblogged below are worth some deep thoughts. I guess by some people’s standards I am a slut myself, if being independent, intelligent, ambitious and having a positive, open and inclusive attitude to matters of sex is the new definition of “slut”.

It seems modern women like myself have two enemies to fight. On the one hand there are the neanderthal and frightened men the aforementioned blogs refer to (men whose sense of their own power is so weak that they have to demean women or sometimes even justify rape in order to compensate for their own inadequacy and failure as human beings). On the other hand there are the feminists who are as anti sex as they are anti men and who insist on an agenda that was outdated decades ago.

I guess I will return to this subject sometime soon but meanwhile please do have a look at the posts I have re-blogged.

Sex Positive Feminism

I am writing this post in support of a post by Kalika Gold I reblogged yesterday. You can find it here.

It seems there is a growing trend in modern feminism to treat many aspects of sex and sexuality as either wrong, or taboo or anti feminist. Now I don’t make a point of hunting for feminist literature, nor do I often feel the need to stand on a soap box and extol the virtues of feminist ideology. Generally I just get on with my life. But I have always considered myself to be a feminist in practice and I will draw attention to things which seem to be setting women back in some way. Sadly it seems that some feminists are setting back the cause by getting sidetracked into some pretty backward, conservative and reactionary attitudes to sexual behavior.

But what do I mean by feminism? I guess there are a hundred definitions and I don’t want to get into a debate about what is the most politically correct use of the term. To me feminism is a pretty simple thing; it means that women and men should have equal opportunities and possibilities in all aspects of life and that they should have equal pay and equal respect for doing equal things. To unpack that a little more I believe strongly that women and men should have equal access to education, equal access to the job market and all professions and that their sex and gender should make no difference to their rewards and remunerations. Moreover as a society we should value and respect women and men equally in all ways even when acknowledging the physiological differences between them.  Following on from this it should be clear that this means I am against the unwilling exploitation of one sex by the other.

This is where the problem begins because I also describe myself as sex positive. This means simply that I have a positive attitude to sex. I like sex. I see it as a perfectly natural and healthy aspect of life. And by sex I pretty much mean all consensual forms of sex no matter what gender or mode of sexuality it is expressed in. In some ways I see sex itself as a morally neutral thing; it is a bodily function like breathing or going to the toilet; the morals we attach to it come from other aspects of life and society. In my own opinion I think western society has for all sorts of religious and social reasons had an unhealthy and repressive attitude to sexuality for a long time, made worse by a lot of hypocrisy within the power structures of society. Whatever… The point is there are a lot of us who feel that sex is good, healthy and generally positive and it seems on some issues this puts us on a collision course with a dominant quarter or feminism.

I like some forms of pornography. I don’t think there is anything intrinsically wrong with prostitution or many other forms of sex work.

“But it is exploitation of women!” Some feminists will scream. “You are being a traitor to your own sex and all the progress feminism has made!”

Well they can scream all they like. It is them who are wrong.

Yes there is exploitation in prostitution, pornography and many other jobs in the sex industry and all women and men should fight against that whether they call themselves feminists or not. Exploitation is wrong. Sex is not.

I have written about this subject before in the following posts.

I’d like to be a prostitute    &   Porn

(Strangely enough those are my most visited posts)!

As feminists we should be fighting to take the criminal element and all aspects of exploitation out of the sex industry. But the sex industry isn’t going to go away. There will always be a market for it. And it is not only or even mainly the proverbial dirty old men in trench-coats who enjoy the fruits of the sex industry; it is also people like me and maybe you.

As women we have waited a very long time to be able to fully enjoy sex and sexuality in a way that men have long taken for granted, free of shame and free of condemnation.  Let us not allow so called feminists to drag us back into the dark ages of guilt and hypocritical Victorian values. I want a future when all girls upon reaching maturity can make their sexual choices freely and individually and enjoy their sexuality without shame. I want a future where all those who work in all branches of the sex industry do so freely within a safe, healthy and legal framework with the same perks and advantages that members of any other profession enjoy.

I want a future when the hypocrisy about sex is over. That is where feminism should be taking us.