Category Archives: Lesbian

All women are bisexual…Sexual Identity

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In my mid twenties it became important for me to assert my sexual identity as bisexual. It seemed to me it was either deny it or live it and I chose to live it. Some people don’t make a big deal about such things. I don’t think I made a big deal about it, but I did make a deal of it to some degree. I was kind of aware that many of my choices in life were slightly against the norm. I was a pagan, I was a witch, I hung out with artists and musicians, I had tattoos, I drank and smoked quite a lot and most of the people I chose to have as friends were similar in many ways to me. But while my life and lifestyle may have seemed to be a bit outside society’s norms, it was normal for me. I had always been equally as attracted to women  as I had been to men sexually. The choice aspect was simply whether to live as a bisexual or to deny that side of things to myself. There was always a rebellious part of me (which still very much exists) which wanted to be open and upfront about my sexuality to challenge those who still clung to what I believe to be archaic prejudices about sex, race and gender. And so I was pretty open about being bisexual and I made the most of the opportunities that opened out to me!

Over the years my feelings about my own sexuality and sexuality in general have fluctuated a bit. There was a time when I thought women might be just for fun while men might be for longer term relationships involving babies and such. Then I went through a stage where I could quite happily identify as purely lesbian. I am now in a very happy and stable relationship with Sophie. However what has become clear is that neither of us are really lesbians. Our sexual tastes have grown and developed as a couple but we are both very aware of being bisexual. Luckily we have very similar tastes in men…

In any case we are pretty much at an age now where we don’t really care much about what others think. We do our own kinky things together and sometimes with others and it’s nobody’s business but ours. But a couple of things lately made me think about this subject again.

My step-daughter has become sexually active in the last year and is probably rather more self confident and worldly wise than I was at her age. (Although I was pretty keen to experiment and quick to learn myself)! What kind of fascinated me about her view of things is the degree to which sexuality seems like a non issue to her. Or rather, bisexuality is a non issue. It’s as if for her bisexuality is the default position. Perhaps that is how it should be. Perhaps the fact that she has been brought up by bisexual parents is an obvious factor. But it just seems curious to me that something which I felt obliged to “come out” and make a bit of a stand about, is even more normal to her than it was for myself and Sophie at her age. I think it is a good thing of course.

Then there was a study published this week that states that “most women are bisexual or gay but very seldom straight”.  http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/11/05/most-women-are-either-gay-or-bisexual-but-never-straight-says-study/

The survey found that straight women were strongly sexually aroused by videos of both attractive men and attractive women – despite identifying as heterosexual. By contrast, women who identified as lesbians exhibited a much stronger sexual response to women than to men. Dr Rieger, the leader of the the study said,   “Even though the majority of women identify as straight, our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight”

The Pink News article also goes on to report another study which found that; ” 43% of people identify themselves as somewhere between exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual – showing people increasingly see sexuality in a less polarised way.”

Well I think all of this is progress and it is all good. Indeed anecdotally I had come to the same conclusions myself. I have often said said that I think most people are somewhere on a spectrum of sexuality and very few people are exclusively one end or the other. I also believe that where we are on the scale can vary to some degree at different points of our life.

But there is something about these latest surveys that disturbs me. I don’t know what it is exactly. Partly it is because these results were published in various newspapers in a style that seemed mainly aimed at titillating the readers. In particular at titillating men. I also think there is a big difference between what turns people on in theory and what people’s sexuality actually is, a point which the first survey ignores. Also in part I think I resent scientists and the fullness of time being required to somehow legitimate feelings which are in essence perfectly normal and perfectly human. Perhaps I am just getting old!

Anyway I hope the main thrust of these reports is true and that our society is beginning to grow up about sex. My step daughter’s generation have inherited a lot of political, social and environmental problems which they will have to deal with. Hopefully they can at least enjoy full and happy sex lives in peace.

~Cassie~

Savoring the forbidden fruit

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.”
W.B. Yeats, The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Some think that the forbidden fruit is evil and should not be touched. Some think that one bite will wipe away all your innocence and spoil you forever. Some of us doubt that is true. Some of us enjoyed giving in to temptation. Maybe we are dammed. Maybe we are just liberated… We tasted knowledge of the forbidden and enjoyed it…

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Have we lost our innocence? Perhaps. Are we changed? Certainly.

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But we like the taste of knowledge. We enjoy the pleasures of the senses. So we can either ignore the new world or we can indulge in it. We could try and run from the darkness or we could learn to navigate in it. We can find our own way; our own balance…

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We can ask for more…

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We can open our eyes…

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We can dance with the devil…

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We can acquire new tastes and desires…

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And celebrate life in the forbidden landscapes…

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Inhale… And be one with the music of our soul.

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“In youth, our blood rises and becomes volatile. Desire, worry, and anxiety increase. External circumstances now direct the rise and fall of emotions. Will and intention become constrained by social conventions. Competition, conflict, and scheming are the norm in interactions with people. The approval and disapproval of others become important, and the honest and sincere expression of thoughts and feelings is lost.”
Liezi, Lieh-tzu: A Taoist Guide to Practical Living

Which way now?

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We have been reposting a few posts we like here but other than that we are at a bit of a loss to know what to do with this blog at the moment.

In terms of writing we devote most of our creative energy to our Satanism blog, Devils Advocates. Being politically incorrect we also write about our unashamed enjoyment of smoking in Smokers Writes. We had intended this blog to be for anything that didn’t fit in either of those places with an emphasis on sexy or sex related posts. Well maybe that is still the case but while we are both hedonists who enjoy indulging in many forms of kink and sexuality, we are not actually sex writers… So there hasn’t been an awful lot to post recently. Moreover we don’t want to limit ourselves to just that.

We don’t want to close or permanently neglect this site though. It just seems that our other blogs and life outside the blogosphere are taking up all our time at the moment.

We are open to suggestions.

Meanwhile watch this space. Who knows what will emerge.

Cassie and Sophie

Six Years Old!

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According to WordPress it is six years since I started this blog. A lot has happened and changed in six years!

Sophie and I have been writing this blog together for the last few years but she said this anniversary post should be by me. Below you can see my very first blog entry here. It makes me cringe a bit to read it now but I guess the person who made it is still a large part of the person I am. After that you can read a summery of our most popular posts with a few thoughts from me. the there are some nice and progressively naughty photos we have posted over the years. And then a few thoughts going forward.

So this was my first ever post. (I’ll blush in a corner while you read it).

Well I don’t intend to write something here every day but since I have half an hour spare and I want to put some meat on the bones of this blog I might as well write something while I’m sipping wine and smoking my last but one cigarette of the day…

The day started well. I woke up early and, well let’s say eagerly. Andy is staying over for a few days. We both travel a lot in our jobs and so the rare times we actually spend together are precious. Thus, the first few hours of the morning were, let’s say, energetic and satisfying! 😉 It left me with an energy buzz which, thankfully, has stayed with me through most of the day.

After Andy left to go off to a meeting in London,  I went round to my Mum’s. She wasn’t having a good day; very confused and forgetful and generally very frail. I took her for a walk and then cooked dinner for her. It worries me how much she depends on me and in a couple of weeks I’ll be working abroad for a couple of months again and I’m seriously concerned about how she will cope. I am trying to persuade her to get some help, but she is being very stubborn.

I am sure there are some who would think that if I am really a witch I should be able to do some quick magic spell to make her well again. I only wish life was that simple. That’s not to say I don’t try some things from time to time;- energy work mostly. However, in order to transfer positive and healthy energy to her I have to be careful not to absorb too much of her fear, frustration and depression. That is not so easy as I am an empath.

This afternoon I spent some time on my lap-top (mostly setting up this blog) and bullied Mum into going for another short walk for some fresh air. Then I stayed at her place watching TV untill she went to bed. Then I came home…

Andy will be back any minute and it will be nice to just snuggle for a while… Mind you I am hoping my last ciggie of the day will be a post coital one!

…I think I got my wish. Andy and I split up amicably not long after. It turns out that was my last serious relationship with a man. When I started this blog I described myself as bisexual and wrote quite a lot of posts on that topic. Now I guess I’m still bisexual but I identify more as a lesbian. Meeting Sophie and moving in with her has been one of the happiest and most significant changes of the last six years.

I’m still a witch but whereas I used to be quite passionately pagan, I am now even more passionately Satanist.

My mother’s deterioration and eventual death last year was the most difficult and saddest thing to bare during the last six years. It is something I am still coming to terms with.

Here is a list of our most popular posts according to WordPress.

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I think it is significant and somewhat pleasing that The Accidental Lesbian comes in at the top of the list, it is the one post that encapsulates the biggest change in my persona during the past six years.

There are several posts about smoking in the list. In fact we were writing on that subject so often that we started a separate blog for it.

I’m glad Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men made it into the list as our most popular musical post. It is still my favourites song of the last decade and has all sorts of personal meanings to me.

And regular readers will not be at all surprised that most of the other posts in the list are about various aspects of sex and sexuality. Funnily enough I think the Cassie of six years ago would have found that quite surprising.

And here are a few photos that I like from the last six years.

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Kissing

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handcuffed

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Waterhouse Lady Of Shalott

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Inked Girls Gallery 143 (7)

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I am without doubt a darker and harder person than I was when this this blog began but I am far more secure and happier in my own skin.

My lover is my life partner. I have a daughter whom I love as much as if she had come from my own loins.

I don’t know what will happen to this blog in the months and years to come but the story of Cassie and Sophie will continue.

Dark And Beautiful

A collection of images and sentiments we find beautiful. Some are our own but most were collected from the web mostly on our Tumblr site. We have edited and photoshopped many of them but we are happy to give credit to the original artists and photographers if they make themselves known.

All beauty starts with the raw power of nature.

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Beauty can be fragile and poisonous.

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There is beauty in the knowledge that we are part of nature; not separate from it.

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Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art. (Ralph Waldo Emmerson)

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Beauty is a talented woman like Amy MacDonald making music and living the life.

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Knowing your own darkness is the best way of dealing with the darkness of others. (Carl Jung)

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The beauty of working magic is powerful and often feared.

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The beauty of hands is that they do the work of the brain and express the soul

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Fingers can be elegant and expressive but they are designed to get dirty and be intimate.

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There is great beauty in the unknown, the mysterious and the forbidden.

 

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The beauty of skin on skin; of giving in to desire, of knowing where your touch will lead…

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The beauty of trusting your lover with your soul.

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The beauty of unashamed adult playfulness and letting go…

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She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; All that’s best of dark and light meet in her aspect and her eyes. (Lord Byron)

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Beauty is a form of genius, is higher in fact as it needs no explanation. (Oscar Wilde)

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Innocence has a passing ephemeral beauty but it has  a “sell by” date after which it becomes unattractive and rancid. What I desire for myself and those I love is the beauty that comes with knowledge and experience.

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Christmas Reality Bites

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Cassie and I have been working on some quite naughty and revealing things to put in this blog. This will still happen but perhaps not until the New Year. I think in 2015 this blog will become darker and sexier, but not just yet. Right now doesn’t seem appropriate…

We have been planning to celebrate this Christmas season together in Zurich, just me Cassie and my daughter. It has been a big year for the three of us and we want to celebrate as a family reflecting on all we have been through, all that has changed in our lives and where we are at now.

And we will do that, but there has been a complication.

Those who have been reading this blog for a long time will know that it started as Cassie’s blog several years before she met me and we got together. You may also remember that Cassie’s mother is ill, suffering from a rare form of early onset dementia. Sadly her condition has recently deteriorated badly. So our Christmas plans are a little bit on hold.

Since Cassie and I moved in together she has of course managed to visit her mother in England at least once every month. We don’t write about it because there is usually not much to say except that there is no change in her mother’s condition and the whole situation is quite sad. Well now her mother has suffered a bad fall and some broken bones and because of the other problems with her health the outlook is not looking good.

Cassie went to England yesterday and we don’t yet know where we will actually spend Christmas. But we will be together no matter what happens.

I would like to write an essay about how amazingly Cassie copes with this sader side of her life but she wouldn’t want me to. However she did say I could mention what is going on in our lives at the moment for background information. There are many sides to all people, including us.

We wish our readers all the best in this winter holiday season. If you are celebrating, do it in style and have fun!

 

Tumblr Picks 2 Cassie’s Choice

Following on from our last post in which Sophie picked out some Tumblr posts she had chosen for me, here are some posts that I originally picked for Sophie. How we go about choosing such images was explained in the previous post. We are reposting them here as an insight into us and because it is fun. We have tried to stay within the parameters that are acceptable to WordPress (our actual Tumblr site is much more X rated) however, although the first few images here are quite tame and inoffensive there will be some that are certainly Not Safe For Work. If you are likely to be offended by images which have some sexual and/or Satanic content please do not linger. For for those who are still here,,, Enjoy!

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We both love Autumn and Autumn scenes. It is a magical time of the year in every way. We don’t actually publish many of these kinds of scenes on our Tumblr blog because we generally go for naughtier things, but it is fair to say that this photo says as much about Sophie’s soul as some of the more specifically NSFW things.

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We both like the imagery of people “wearing their horns”. In the privacy of our own home and out in the woods we have been known to dress up in a similar way for certain rituals. It is a symbol of what we stand for and how we have changed since becoming Satanists. It is also very much a link back to nature, a recognition of being human animals and identifying with the primal horned God of the forests.

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Following on from the “Horns” theme, I chose the above image because it reminds me of our daughter. She has recently become a Satanist herself or to put it another way she has chosen to take a bite of the forbidden apple and we are very proud of her for doing do.

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Sophie and I are both quite heavily inked and would admit that tattoos are one of our shared fetishes. We like the above image because of the contrast between the innocence and naturalism of the model and the tattoos she has. Very interesting and sexy.

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I knew Sophie would like the above image because it is simply beautiful and classy. It also has some connection to the 20s theme I will explain later.

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We are both fans of the artist Egon Schiele. Some people find his paintings of women brutal. We just find them honest and respectful and there is a lot of tenderness there too.

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I chose this because it looks like, or could actually be Sophie on one of our naughtier Sunday breakfasts!

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If I hadn’t chosen the above image for Sophie, she would have chosen it for me. We know each other’s tastes and we both find that image incredibly sexy.

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One of the things we have found we have in common since we have been together is a taste for 1920s fashion and style. This shared enthusiasm has developed into quite a fetish.

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Beautiful tattoos and a beautiful body; what else is there to say? Oh yes we both like red heads and while we can’t claim it is natural we have spent long chunks of our adult lives with red hair.

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We have both always quite liked snakes, even before their symbolism took on new meaning for us. We are pretty good with spiders too now!

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It’s the 20s theme again but this time combined with lesbianism and a slight reference to BDSM. Very us.

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This is a still from a very sexy video clip I found. I am not going to explain every element of the symbolism here, but it has elements of satanic and magical ritual as well as obvious lesbian interest. Mostly it conveys the pleasure of letting go of conventions and allowing yourself to enjoy your true self. That sounds far too technical. Put it another way; Sophie and I cream our pants watching it!