Well, this particular blog has been completely dormant for about a year meaning I haven’t posted here in that time. I have been posting in Devil’s Advocates a bit more regularly but have a been a bit lapse there as well. However I got a notification from WordPress that it is eight years since I started blogging here and thought this might be a good time for a status update and some thoughts on where I and my writing are going from here.
Eight years does not seem long at all when you say it; but it is fair to say that my life has changed almost entirely in that time. My first post on this blog (which was called “Cassie Being Cassie” at that time) began by parodying Brigit Jones Diary and making reference to my then boyfriend and to the fact that I was an eclectic pagan witch. I had to cringe while reading it back to myself as it now seems like a very young and innocent version of the person I have become. https://justcassie.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/5/
There are some who would certainly use the word corruption to describe the process of growth I have been through in the intervening time; but I would prefer to use the terms enlightenment and maturation. For those who haven’t been following my blogs, the short version of the last eight years is that I became a Satanist, got a girlfriend, moved to Switzerland, adopted a daughter, had several promotions at work and wound up being leader of an independent Satanic coven.
“Cassie Being Cassie” changed to “Sophie and Cassie-Not Safe For Work” after Sophie and I got together. We have kept the blog going intermittently since then. At first it was a mixture of our philosophical and spiritual thoughts and opinions (we are both Satanists), quite a lot of sexual content and reblogs of things we liked on the blogs we followed. As time went by we moved most of the Satanic stuff to our other main blog “Devils Advocates”, and this blog was kept for reblogs and occasional musings on our sexual tastes and fetishes and thoughts on sex and gender politics. As more time passed our daughter came of age and became a Satanist herself, contributing to Devil’s Advocates and starting her own blog.
So where are we now, and what does the future hold? Well, more specifically, where am I now… (Sophie and Tina will speak for themselves later).
After a nervous first few months, Satanism became the cornerstone of my life and my world. I am not going to say much more about it here beyond this paragraph except to give an indication of the direction I am going in at the end of this post. I concede that my views and lifestyle are considered to be evil by many people. I think they are wrong in many ways but I don’t run away from the label as I once did. If Satan is evil, then so am I. I have given up all my previous ideas about morality which I now see as a purely subjective and unscientific concepts in the first place. I live by Satanic will and imperatives alone. I am not good. I have no desire to be anything other than honest to myself and my own wants and needs. I understand that what I have just said can sound very selfish and shallow to the uninitiated; but it really isn’t, and I have explained that more than enough in various blog entries. I am happy in my own skin and that is what matters. Still, as leader of a coven and as a relatively well known Satanist I hope I can continue to be a positive example of what modern Satanism is. Further thoughts specifically about Satanism will be continued in Devil’s Advocates and “another project…”
Musings about sex played quite a large part in this original blog and continued when Sophie joined in. It is still something I think about quite a lot because I enjoy it and it seems to be something that society as a whole is often conflicted about in ways that make me wonder how “civilized” or mature our species really is on this (and many other matters)! Sophie and I live by our own rules. Finding each other has probably been the biggest blessing in our lives and our relationship continues to be defined by very passionate love for each other. But we are both bisexual, or perhaps omnisexual as modern terminology catches up with the reality of people’s varied sexual tastes and experience. We have sex with each other and with others, sometimes together and sometimes separately. I have always thought that sex frequently has spiritual dimensions and overtones and I still firmly believe and experience that. However, I’m not ashamed to say I sometimes just like an adventurous or satisfying fuck and that could be with a man or a woman or any combination thereof! Sophie and I have always liked experimenting and we both enjoy various aspects of BDSM. We like porn too. We have our own tastes which for myself I like to think of as sophisticated and refined, but that includes some things which others might describe as hardcore. I do have a problem with porn though. Ideally porn and prostitution should be empowering to all involved; that includes the consumers and those who pose for pictures or provide sexual services. But it is naive to assume it always is that way. I do my best to avoid anything where there is a suspicion that anyone has been forced or coerced into taking part or where they have been filmed without their knowledge or consent. I’m sure however I have sometimes derived pleasure from porn that was not made in a way I would approve of and that makes me uncomfortable. I am thinking of joining or even starting some organisations that try to keep sex workers safe and increase respect for their profession; while at the same time reducing the sense in which prostitution and pornography are views as inherently bad or wrong. As long as meaningful consent and real choice are involved, I think erotica and all those who work in the sex industry are healthy and deserving of more respect than they normally get.
As I approach what some would call middle age, I am more comfortable in and with my (now heavily inked) body than ever before. And I hope and wish that all my regular readers will continue to enjoy the sexual aspect of their lives in whatever way satisfies them for a long time to come.
Looking to the future… In terms of my work-life I am now a senior manager in my company and have ideas and plans for improving my own prospects as well as those of my colleagues and the company itself. It will mean working even harder, but I have never been afraid of that. This should bring financial and material rewards for Sophie and I and we are thinking about moving home although staying in Switzerland. I am also going to apply for Swiss citizenship now that Britain seems obsessed with the national suicide that is called Brexit.
I also want to make time to concentrate on several writing projects I have in mind. I always wanted to invest more in writing but have often struggled to fit it in between all my other activities. I have now decided to make my writing ambitions a bit more concrete and hopefully my experience in blogging over the past eight years will be an advantage in that. One of my writing projects will be a semi-autobiographic book about Satanism which has been at the back of my mind for a number of years. I am also working on ideas for travel articles, and novels exploring sex and relationships in a way that I have always wanted to read. I have a few science fiction and fantasy ideas as well. In order to give myself some time for all those projects I am going to step back from blogging. I’m not going to say I won’t contribute at all to our blogs in future; if I have something I want or need to say I will do so…
Our blogs will not stop though. Sophie and Tina (who is now a thoughtful and enthusiastic Satanic woman in her own right) will continue with Devil’s Advocates and Smokers Writes, and may even continue to post here from time to time.
We are a strong family trio, with fingers in many pies, and our story will continue…