Category Archives: sexuality

Without Consent It Is Rape

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A girl goes to a party, drinks too much, wakes up disheveled and disoriented behind a dumpster, battered and bruised and is taken to hospital. Over the course of the next few days the full horror of the abuse she has been subjected to becomes apparent. But at least there were witnesses to what happened to her (who may in fact have prevented the rape from being even worse) and the rapist has been caught. So surely justice will come quickly and fully? Not so. She then has to endure a whole year in which she is portrayed as the promiscuous guilty party who drank too much and pretty much deserved what she got. The perpetrator is portrayed as a normally good guy who just drank too much and got a bit carried away. The jury were not fooled and found him guilty on all charges. The judge however thought he deserved a break, after all he was an athlete with a glittering career ahead of him and why should half an hour of recklessness spoil his whole life; so the judge gave him the minimum sentence possible.

Well that is the story of Brock Turner the rapist and his victim. You have probably seen it in the news and read about it on the Internet. It doesn’t quite end there. The victim wrote an impact statement which was so articulate and so inspiring that it has gone viral. We have given a link to it at the end of this post and would urge absolutely everybody to read it. We think it should form the basis of a whole series of social and sex education classes in America and the civilised world.

We wanted to blog about this because we often write about sex. We are sex positive feminists. We like sex. We think sex is healthy and good. We have as much sex as possible with each other and sometimes with others. We enjoy what some call darker or kinky sex. There have been times in our lives when we could have been described as promiscuous. NONE OF THAT GIVES ANYBODY PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH US OR ANYBODY ELSE. WITHOUT MEANINGFUL CONSENT, IT IS RAPE. ALWAYS.

We feel strongly about this because in writing this blog we assume our sentiments and our understanding is shared by other liberated and mature women and men and we want in our small way to normalise sex and sexuality; to bring it out of the closet and make it something that adults can enjoy and discuss openly and maturely.

But the reality is that there are some troglodyte boys out there who may never become real men and may never understand the realities of sex. So here is a message for anybody that is bordering on that mentality…

It is true that some women enjoy consensual sex a lot. Some women like to fuck and be fucked in all sorts of ways and situations as long as they give meaningful consent. Yes, some women, including us, like to be sexy, perhaps even provocatively so. But without consent you are not allowed to do anything. Without consent, you don’t even have the right to use our first names. We hope that is clear. 90% of people get it. If you are in the ignorant minority who don’t get it, seek counselling, because you are wrong and you risk hurting somebody and spending many years in prison.

Here is a link to the letter Brock Turner’s victim wrote and read out in court. It is a long and harrowing read but ultimately empowering and perhaps even hopeful. We urge all our readers to read it and let all its messages and implications sink in.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.nw8RMQYbe#.otGD1VNb5

Savoring the forbidden fruit

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.”
W.B. Yeats, The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Some think that the forbidden fruit is evil and should not be touched. Some think that one bite will wipe away all your innocence and spoil you forever. Some of us doubt that is true. Some of us enjoyed giving in to temptation. Maybe we are dammed. Maybe we are just liberated… We tasted knowledge of the forbidden and enjoyed it…

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Have we lost our innocence? Perhaps. Are we changed? Certainly.

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But we like the taste of knowledge. We enjoy the pleasures of the senses. So we can either ignore the new world or we can indulge in it. We could try and run from the darkness or we could learn to navigate in it. We can find our own way; our own balance…

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We can ask for more…

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We can open our eyes…

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We can dance with the devil…

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We can acquire new tastes and desires…

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And celebrate life in the forbidden landscapes…

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Inhale… And be one with the music of our soul.

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“In youth, our blood rises and becomes volatile. Desire, worry, and anxiety increase. External circumstances now direct the rise and fall of emotions. Will and intention become constrained by social conventions. Competition, conflict, and scheming are the norm in interactions with people. The approval and disapproval of others become important, and the honest and sincere expression of thoughts and feelings is lost.”
Liezi, Lieh-tzu: A Taoist Guide to Practical Living

Sex, Porn, Feminism, Victimhood

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I guess this post will get us into trouble with some. Somebody sent me a link to the following article and asked for my opinion. It is an article that raises so many issues and which by implication accuses Sophie and me of being non feminists and much worse. I am going to try and address some of the points raised in the article. I want to start by saying however that while I disagree with the tone and conclusions of the article, I do think some of the issues raised deserve serious and ongoing consideration.

The article can be found here.http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/12/09/the-sexiest-oppression/

The article by Natasha Chart starts with some very dubious and convoluted claims. Firstly she gives scant details of a story from Britain’s Daily Mirror in which an elderly woman is said to have died after a sex game went badly wrong. She then states quite categorically that in a just, feminist world, the neighbor who was involved in the sex game should have been tried for murder. In fact she equates his actions with the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. Now we have looked at the account in The Mirror and it is fair to say there is not much more detail there than in Ms Chart’s account. What is clear is that the local authorities were convinced that there was more evidence for a tragic accident than for murder. Ms Chart wants us to believe that is because we live in a “male supremasist” world. The fact remains however that the only judge who has found the neighbor guilty of being a murderous, woman hating, monster is Ms Chart herself; and this is based solely on the scant evidence contained in a tabloid newspaper and her own very jaded opinions.

Then within a few tortuous, logic defying sentences such as these;-

…This is how you turn oppression into a titillating taboo that isn’t taken seriously. This is how you turn public health and safety threats like rape, torture, and murder, into “sex.” Which is private.

Talking about sex in public is obscenity. So talking about the way women are threatened and physically abused becomes obscenity and, in turn, becomes “sex.” As a result, everything about women’s bodies and oppression is turned into private obscenity that can’t be discussed like other topics…

She blames men in general, pornography, church and religious authorities and women like Sophie and myself for all that is wrong in the world and for the fears and prejudices that clearly dominate her daily life. She finally comes to the conclusion;-

…There is no part of male supremacist culture that doesn’t believe that women owe men sex, by which it is usually meant, she owes him sexual subservience and arousal over his use of force or coercion. Porn and church teachings are simply the most prominent outlets for this view, almost universally held…

I wonder how she would account for women such as Sophie and myself who even without men around, play sexual and psychological games of dominance and submission? I wonder if she is capable of understanding that such activities can be done with love and can be deeply pleasurable and fulfilling to both parties equally (no matter which role they are playing and no matter what genders they happen to be)?

Well I doubt that she can. She states in the same article that she was in the past a serial victim of  abusive relationships. And frankly it is the cries and screams of a serial victim who blames the world for her own mistakes that sing out most loudly in this article. That sounds harsh, doesn’t it? And I don’t want to be drawn in to blaming the victim, but…

We have all known women (and sometimes men) who repeatedly wind up in abusive relationships of various types. We try to warn them, but they won’t or can’t listen. Many of us know people who repeatedly have problems with drugs, or alcohol, or gambling… We cannot help the victim until the victim realises the truth of their predicament and owns it. Yes there are some total bastards out there; there are sick, twisted and vicious men and women… But not all men or women are bad because of the sins of the ones we are attracted to… Drugs and alcohol are not bad in themselves… Sometimes we have to acknowledge that the problem belongs to us and stop blaming others and being angry at half the world.

And sadly the article we are discussing here is so infused with that kind of mis-directed anger that it will find no uncritical audience except for other similarly damaged souls.

It is genuinely sad because it does touch on issues which need to be discussed and grappled with more openly. Even those of us who describe ourselves as “sex positive feminists” have to admit that there is still far too much exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry.

Some weeks ago Sophie and I were looking through a site we often visit for sexy and pornographic images. Some of the images we enjoy would be described as fairly hardcore by some and may elude to, or depict quite clearly, things associated with bondage, dominance, submission and mild violence. (Anybody shocked by that revelation has not been following our blogs very closely). However while browsing that site we came across something that made us pause and indeed left us feeling bad and sullied. It was a short video gif which showed a woman being subjected to very aggressive sex by two men at the same time. We both felt that the woman was not consenting, that she was probably full of drugs and that she looked absolutely terrified and out of control. We felt as if we were witnessing an actual rape. We felt sick and reported the image. But I have to admit that reporting that image probably didn’t achieve much and almost certainly did nothing to help the woman concerned. And we can’t escape from the fact that while we choose to believe most of the pornographic images we look at involve people who are fully consenting at every level; some clearly aren’t.

So what are our options? Let’s remove any semblance of kid gloves. We are two women who are unashamed hedonists, who have enjoyed colourful and diverse sexual encounters with each other and with other women and men. Our sexual tastes and fetishes cover most of the BDSM spectrum and go well beyond that. We enjoy porn. Most of our friends and acquaintances have similarly liberal views and tastes in matters of sex and sexuality. But we acknowledge that there is still a lot of exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry and there are real victims.

We could spurn all forms of sexual enjoyment outside of each other. We could stop looking at any form of pornography for fear that there may have been exploitation in the making of it. We could go further and campaign against all forms of pornography. Equally we could campaign against the very notion of prostitution where there is also undoubtedly gross exploitation. And besides all that we could hate all men and blame them for the perversion of sex, sexuality and gender roles in society. I suspect that is what Ms Chart would like us to do.

But this would not work and would ultimately be disempowering for us and all women and men. It would be defeatist. It would be like saying men have fucked up everything to do with sex so we should retreat to some puritanical version of vanilla sexuality where there can be no danger of exploitation so long as we all repeat the same, supposedly feminist, mantra. And if we happen to have tastes which are not vanilla we must remember that this is only because we have been brainwashed by the previous Male Supremacist society. In other words we must remember at all times that We are all victims and live accordingly!

But why should we allow one form of oppressive orthodoxy to be replaced by another one? For hundreds of years the Christian Church and other religious institutions have sought to control people, especially women, by policing sexuality; by determining what we are allowed to do and think in matters of sex and then condemning everything else as sinful. Many women of my parents generation would be envious of the sexual freedoms and independence we enjoy. Moreover those who happen to be gay or transgender or who can’t be pigeon holed anywhere on the sexuality spectrum are just beginning to enjoy liberties and acceptance that their predecessors could not of imagined. We should not allow victim driven forms of feminism to rob us of the freedoms we enjoy and which were many years in the winning.

What we must do however is enjoy our sexual freedoms responsibly. Where we see exploitation and crime we must treat it and report it as such. Some people can be empowered by their consensual participation in the production of pornography, and nobody has the right to judge them for that. But as consumers of pornography we must insist on only buying into that type of porn. We should aid in the hunting down and prosecution of all criminal activity in the sex industry. We should flag up anything suspect as soon as we see it. We should only pay for and share material we are confident is consensual and fully legal. This will not cure exploitation quickly but if there is any truth in the capitalist idea of market forces, eventually the exploitative, criminal side of the sex industry will be squeezed out.

We should aim to defeat the misogynists, the exploiters and the criminals by acting as responsible and empowered adults who are comfortable with our sexuality and our gender. Fearful and vindictive victims are unlikely to achieve anything except by totalitarian control.

Cassie

My introduction to kinkier sex

BY SOPHIE

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Cassie and I have decided to speak candidly about aspects of our sex lives here. She has already explained some of the reasons why, and there are others which we won’t go into. One thing we haven’t mentioned yet however and which we may explain more fully sometime is that we both feel that sex is a gateway into the psychology of ourselves and others. It is a way to know and express yourself in a unique way. It can be both therapy and the deepest pleasure. With that in mind I will continue. I will admit I am a bit shy of exposing this much of myself publically but I will try…

I was was a nice girl. Good at school. Polite. Well behaved. And perhaps I still carry some of those aspects with me, but I also had a darker side, a part of me that wanted to go against the grain of how people saw me. I think I looked younger and more innocent than I felt I was. I was well educated and had a pretty singing voice, so I rather liked swearing and smoking so much my voice became deep and husky. My skin was clear and in good condition so I was keen to cover it in tattoos. I was pretty and nice and kind and expected to settle down with a nice boy so I slept around and went looking for the bad boys although actually the ones I found weren’t really bad at all. Part of this was just typical teenage rebellion, but partly I was trying to find and be my true self.

In my early sex life I think I sacrificed deeper more meaningful relationships for more experience of sex. I didn’t admit it, even to myself. I played the part of the nice girlfriend but always found reason to dump the nice boys. They were lovely, I could genuinely speak for hours about how nice they were. But sexually they didn’t satisfy me. A few of them experimented with padded hand-cufs and that got me interested for a few moments; but they didn’t know what they were doing.

Then I had my first girlfriend. That was different. That was very nice at first. She was a little older and wiser than me and I liked that. But even she ultimately disappointed me in bed. We split up when I was twenty and I went several months without a lover. I even stopped masterbating, I thought I had devoted too much time and energy to sex and should concentrate more on my studies and making platonic friends and being nice to my family. And then I met the man we shall call Thomas.

Thomas was exactly twice my age. He had been married. He was an artist and musician. He knew things. He had life experience. He swept me off my feet. The first time we slept together I knew I was dealing with somebody totally different to anybody I had been with before and that excited me. Even that first time he did things that none of my other lovers had ever dared. I knew from then it was going to be an education.

One of the things that impressed me in the early days with Thomas was that he was genuinely interested in what turned me on and took the trouble to find out. Not only in the bedroom itself; he took me shopping. We went to various sex shops, places I had never been to before. We bought various toys and magazines and most importantly for me at the time I bought a new sex wardrobe. I experimented with lace and leather and rubber. I began to learn for myself what I felt sexy in and how dressing up could add spice to our sexual antics.

He took the lead in matters of sex. I was happy with that because in most previous relationships I was always somehow in control. It was good to play a more submissive part but over a few months it became clear that I was not just being the more submissive of the two… He was the Dom and I was the Sub; fully and truly. I read up about it. I played my part well. I enjoyed it. And ever more elaborate forms of bondage came to play an increasing part in our sex games.

He was good with ropes and knots. After some experiments we found different ways to bind me that were tight and controlling but not too uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy being bound so tightly that it burns or hurts although I do sometimes like there to be some marks afterward. What came to be our favourite position saw me bound in a crouching or kneeling position on the floor or on the bed or a table with my hands tied behind my back. The finishing touch was fixing a ball gag in my mouth… I am an articulate person in three languages; not being able to speak any of them was frightening, and yet exciting. All I could do was grunt and moan and very quickly I would be drooling uncontrollably. I felt like I was being reduced to my most basic, animalistic self. Sophie with all education and sophistication removed and with only the primal instinct to fuck remaining. And then he would have his way with me, often making me wait, teasing and deriding me. Sometimes he spanked me with his hands or with paddles, sometimes he would tickle me with a riding whip or whip me harder like a disobedient horse. By this time I would be desperate to feel his cock inside me, and I didn’t mind where; but again he would make me wait until I almost couldn’t bare it. When he was pleased with me, he would release my gag just before he came and I would take him in my mouth  in a frenzy like a beggar who hasn’t eaten for months.

After some months of this I think I was beginning to worry about the psychological effect this kind of sex was having on me. I was enjoying it, in fact I would say I was getting addicted to it; but it was also making me question who I was, and indeed my value as a person beyond sex. And then he suggested that we change roles…

For me to play the dominant one was such a change in our sex life and in our whole relationship that I must admit I was very bad at it at first. I felt very nervous and insecure. But in surreal conversations over breakfast and at the supermarket, Thomas made it clear he wanted me to keep trying. And so I did.

The key once again was to go shopping… As Thomas was keen, he let me use his credit card and I went to a sex and lingere shop where I kitted myself out in the most extreme, badass dominatrix attire I could buy, complete with tassels, sharp studs and high heeled boots. Getting dressed in it helped me to get into character; or perhaps more honestly to find the hardcore dominatrix bitch within me.

Thomas didn’t like extreme pain which was just as well because I wouldn’t have felt comfortable inflicting that on him. My tastes include some aspects of S&M, but only to a limited degree. What Thomas did like though was to be totally dominated and to some degree humiliated. During the peak of this phase of our relationship a typical scene would go something as follows:-

After dinner I would order him to go and have a shower and return to the living room naked. By the time he returned I would have dressed up and we would both fully assume our roles. I would make him kneel in front of me and walk around him, inspecting the goods and chastising him sternly. He was not allowed to reply unless I gave him permission, and if he did speak out of turn I might use my riding whip across his buttocks…

“You didn’t wash behind your ears… You dirty boy… Yes, I called you a boy…” Slash! Whip!

Sometimes I would sit on his back and pretend to ride him like a horse, or rather…

“Bad doggie! Go faster doggie!”

While riding him I would expose my fanny and rub it up and down along his back while gently massaging his buttocks or lightly whipping them. Then I would order him to lick me but he was not allowed to get off his hands and knees so he could only lick my boots and my stockings. Then…,

“Bark!” I would order, “Bark like a real dog! Bark louder! No! Not woof, woof; you imbecile! Howl! howl like an animal… Go on that’s better… Now look, the door is opening… Your mother is there… She can see you for the animal you are! Oh look, there is your boss! What does he think of you now? Bark! Howl! Go on! You are not a person you are an animal… A really stupid animal!”

“You want to fuck me don’t you? You want to fuck me like an animal! Well you can’t. I want a man, not a pathetic little boy who thinks he’s a dog! I want a real man, not a stupid creep like you! Stand up… Stand up now!”

Then he would sheepishly stand up straight. I would walk around him, stroking and prodding him fairly gently with the tip of my whip, finally focusing my attention on his erect penis. Eventually I would take his cock in my hand and begin to work, pulling and massaging, gently at first but ever more vigorously. All the time I would berate him in various ways, telling him he was not good enough for me or for anybody. Some of the insults could be quite deep and hurtful based on things I knew he was sensitive about. At the same time I would begin to squeeze the base of his cock and all around his balls; not quite actual torture but far more than playful. And then just when he was about to explode with cum I would stop completely and give him tasks to do.

“Sing me a song!”

“Dance for me.”

“Pour me a drink!”

“Light my cigarette!”

“If you cum before I have finished this cigarette, that’s it for tonight. We don’t speak until morning and you can sleep on the sofa!”

And that was it really. I’d leave him standing there, aching for sex but being denied it until I was quite ready and he was ready to explode. I would then give him precise instructions about how I wanted him to fuck me and if he carried them out exactly we would both be satisfied, and if not I would punish him with the whip and an early end to the “session”.

I enjoyed it for a while, for quite a few months even. I was fascinated and slightly disturbed to explore this darker side of my persona. But ultimately I got bored. My initial attraction to Thomas was based on the fact that he was the experienced one and I could trust him to take control while I was the more inexperienced and submissive one. But he could never go back to that. Once he had discovered Sophie the dominatrix that was all he ever wanted me to be. But I knew I couldn’t be happy just playing that one role and only expressing the darker more controlling side of myself. So we split up. I had grown a lot. He hadn’t.

Well, I’ll stop there. Writing these things down does make me think and re-examine things. It is a kind of therapy I guess. Since that time I have had a lot of long and short term relationships; not all of them so intense. After Thomas I knew I had it within me to be both the total sub or the total Dom. But often neither extreme is necessary. One of the reasons Cassie and I get on so well is that we are quite similar in that respect. But I will leave it to her to say more. It is her turn next.

Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Trust, Love

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Sophie and I have been planning for some time to write something here about BDSM and the darker areas of love and sex in general. We may describe some of our kinkier experiences of sex with each other and with other people but we felt that first some explanations are needed. Perhaps first up, why should we write about such things in the first place?

Well the first answer is it might be enlightening and educational for some people and of course it might be entertaining for some too. This blog is fairly obviously and pointedly aimed at adults only. But equally importantly it is cathartic for us. Perhaps one of the darker aspects of our own sexuality is that we are unapologetic egotists, we’ll admit here and now that it turns us on to give public glimpses of ourselves in a controlled way. Anyone who is put off by that should head for the door. However, having said that, we are also quite sensitive and sensible people. There are millions of people who write about these things, perhaps we can do it in a way that is more sensible and down to earth than many.

We are not heavily into the BDSM scene, but we have experience of it and we do incorporate many aspects of it into our own sex lives. We can both switch between dominance and submission; we have several kinks and fetishes in common and a few extra individual ones. Sex in all its variety has pretty much always been important to both of us. We both feel blessed that nature made us bisexual because that has allowed us to experience things which people who are completely one way or the other might never know.

I was 15 when I lost my virginity to a guy who was only slightly older than myself. It was all very nice and in an ironic way I suppose, very innocent. He was my boyfriend for the best part of a year after that. We had good sex, enjoyable sex… Pretty much all my memories of that time and that relationship are good ones. Very occasionally we meet up again and there is still a lot of warmth between us. We have not slept together since that relationship ended and I doubt that we ever will again, but there is something special about your first time and your first real lover… It was all very nice.

But I think I knew from the beginning that I wanted a more interesting and adventurous sex life. I still like “nice” sex, but I always wanted to explore my own boundaries and find out more about myself and other people through sex. I was always keen to experiment. Over time I have realised that not everybody feels the same way. Some are less experimental. Some never have any desire to experience sex that is anything beyond pleasant and comfortable and loving. That is fine, but some of us are not made that way. I am not. My partner is not. We have both always enjoyed variety in our sex lives and we like to explore what are sometimes referred to as the darker areas of our sexuality and sexual tastes.

As ever; by dark I don’t really mean bad, but those areas of sexuality and psychology which are kept hidden and often deemed as being unusual, kinky or naughty. Areas where to some degree the boarders between pleasure and pain may merge, where voice and feeling are given to parts of the self that are often repressed. For Sophie and I it is just another aspect of our way of life and philosophy in which we value both the lighter and darker aspects of ourselves and seek to integrate them as fully as possible. We are big believers in Jungian philosophy and psychology and in sex, as in all aspects of our life, we seek balance by working with our shadow side and making peace with our demons. As some may know, our spiritual life follows the same pattern.

All very philosophical, but what does it all mean? As somebody very innocently and honestly asked me recently, “What is the point of all that darker sexual stuff? Don’t you have pleasure just from being intimate and making love passionately with the one you love? Isn’t it just a kind of addictive thrill seeking which lessens the value of love itself?”

Good questions, and actually not all that easy to answer…

Firstly love. Yes that is the most important thing and without it any kind of sex, even if thoroughly enjoyable, is a lesser thing than making love. I can shudder with emotion just by brushing my lips against Sophie. I can bring myself to orgasm just by imagining how she touches me; and I can cry myself to sleep from missing her. Having darker or kinkier sex can be great and rewarding without love, but when combined with love it is so much better. Moreover many of the kinkier kinds of sex depend totally on love, respect and trust between the participants in order for such activities to elevate you to another level of experience.

Even in the most simple forms of bondage which I’m sure pretty much everyone experiments with at some stage, allowing somebody to tie you up or restrain you in any way is ultimately a huge act of trust. If that trust is broken, if you are hurt or in any way distressed by what what your partner does while you are tied up, it can be an awful experience and could and probably should be the end of a relationship (and could even lead to rape charges). On the other hand if your partner knows you well enough to pleasure you to your limits and just a little beyond perhaps, it can be a sublime experience. Also knowing that somebody trusts you enough to let you restrain them and control them to some degree is a huge honour and responsibility. I’d say it was a very meaningful sign of love in fact.

It can indeed become addictive to look for ever more extreme ways to be turned on sexually and some people may damage themselves and others in such a quest. There is a real danger there. However, most people can control themselves or learn to; indeed that is part of what life is about. People can become addicted to just about anything from cream cakes to computer games, the test of a person’s charecter is retaining self control and/or knowing when to stop. Some will fail. Most will learn and grow. Sophie and I believe very strongly indeed that people’s potential to grow should not be hindered because a few are unable to.

But we are getting too philosophical again…

Next time, Sophie the dominatrix. 😉

Tumblr Picks 2 Cassie’s Choice

Following on from our last post in which Sophie picked out some Tumblr posts she had chosen for me, here are some posts that I originally picked for Sophie. How we go about choosing such images was explained in the previous post. We are reposting them here as an insight into us and because it is fun. We have tried to stay within the parameters that are acceptable to WordPress (our actual Tumblr site is much more X rated) however, although the first few images here are quite tame and inoffensive there will be some that are certainly Not Safe For Work. If you are likely to be offended by images which have some sexual and/or Satanic content please do not linger. For for those who are still here,,, Enjoy!

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We both love Autumn and Autumn scenes. It is a magical time of the year in every way. We don’t actually publish many of these kinds of scenes on our Tumblr blog because we generally go for naughtier things, but it is fair to say that this photo says as much about Sophie’s soul as some of the more specifically NSFW things.

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We both like the imagery of people “wearing their horns”. In the privacy of our own home and out in the woods we have been known to dress up in a similar way for certain rituals. It is a symbol of what we stand for and how we have changed since becoming Satanists. It is also very much a link back to nature, a recognition of being human animals and identifying with the primal horned God of the forests.

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Following on from the “Horns” theme, I chose the above image because it reminds me of our daughter. She has recently become a Satanist herself or to put it another way she has chosen to take a bite of the forbidden apple and we are very proud of her for doing do.

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Sophie and I are both quite heavily inked and would admit that tattoos are one of our shared fetishes. We like the above image because of the contrast between the innocence and naturalism of the model and the tattoos she has. Very interesting and sexy.

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I knew Sophie would like the above image because it is simply beautiful and classy. It also has some connection to the 20s theme I will explain later.

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We are both fans of the artist Egon Schiele. Some people find his paintings of women brutal. We just find them honest and respectful and there is a lot of tenderness there too.

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I chose this because it looks like, or could actually be Sophie on one of our naughtier Sunday breakfasts!

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If I hadn’t chosen the above image for Sophie, she would have chosen it for me. We know each other’s tastes and we both find that image incredibly sexy.

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One of the things we have found we have in common since we have been together is a taste for 1920s fashion and style. This shared enthusiasm has developed into quite a fetish.

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Beautiful tattoos and a beautiful body; what else is there to say? Oh yes we both like red heads and while we can’t claim it is natural we have spent long chunks of our adult lives with red hair.

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We have both always quite liked snakes, even before their symbolism took on new meaning for us. We are pretty good with spiders too now!

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It’s the 20s theme again but this time combined with lesbianism and a slight reference to BDSM. Very us.

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This is a still from a very sexy video clip I found. I am not going to explain every element of the symbolism here, but it has elements of satanic and magical ritual as well as obvious lesbian interest. Mostly it conveys the pleasure of letting go of conventions and allowing yourself to enjoy your true self. That sounds far too technical. Put it another way; Sophie and I cream our pants watching it!

Lesbians seeking men?

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Things have been rather quiet and tame here for a while so I thought we should spice things up and do a definitely NSFW post!

A little context before the naughty bits. As those of you who follow this blog may know, Sophie and I did some paperwork and signed some forms recently confirming our status as a legally registered couple. We are as married as we ever want to be, and more importantly in our hearts and minds we are committed to living together and growing old together as a couple for as long as we are able to imagine. We have also made spiritual commitments to that effect and furthermore I am now legally registered as Tina’s guardian meaning that if anything should happen to Sophie I will continue to raise Tina as my daughter. So we are not just a lesbian couple; we are a complete family and we all love each other very much indeed.

Inwardly it is fair to say that both Sophie and myself have changed sexually and psychologically since knowing each other. We both used to describe ourselves as bisexual, indeed I was fairly strident about that. I felt that bisexuality was not understood very well or taken seriously by either the gay or the straight community. I still think that. However if anybody asked me today what my sexuality was I would answer without hesitation that I am a lesbian. Sophie would say the same. If one of us died the other could never contemplate having a long term sexual relationship with a man. We are lesbians. I never really thought I would say that of myself but it is true.

But that doesn’t mean we have lost all of our bisexual leanings. There are times when we fantasise about having sex with men. In the early stages of our relationship we were very open and both of us had occasional one night stands with men. That hasn’t happened for nearly two years now. Frankly those adventures didn’t impress us much and we realised we much preferred having sex with each other. We also began to be less and less sexually attracted to men and more and more attracted to women. That process disturbed us a bit at first but now we just accept that this is how we have grown and what we have become. And we have never been happier or more sexually charged. I can come just by thinking of the things Sophie and I do together and sometimes when we fuck I am pretty sure our lovemaking really does cause earth tremors!

But men are not completely out of the picture… There are things we miss about men and things that could still potentially turn us on. To do a bit of chauvinist role reversal, it’s their bits we miss, not so much the rest of them! We both certainly miss the taste and smell of semen. And sometimes when browsing our ever growing library of porn we find an image of a cock we that makes us wet ourselves…

So, we got to thinking… What about inviting somebody for a threesome? No commitment, no involvement; just find somebody who was up for a night of fairly mindless but full on sex with a couple of willing and horny lesbians. After all, it is the stuff that porno films are made of; what could go wrong?  We have both had impromptu threesomes once or twice in the past before we knew each other, but we have never planned such a thing in advance. This could be an adventure…

We were very sure about the kind of man we were looking for, perhaps that was our biggest mistake. We were looking for a beautiful body attached to a personality we would normally go out of our way to avoid. We wanted a man who was cock sure of himself and who could do the business in the bedroom but whom we would never want to see again… We were victims of our own success!

Neither of us have ever claimed to be well behaved ladies in all respects. We are open about liking sex and we both know how to turn it on when we want to. It was however the first time we had gone out on the pull together with such a specific aim in mind. That was actually a lot of fun.  We waited for a weekend when our daughter was away with her father and then put our plan onto action. We went cruising in a couple of well known pick up bars and it didn’t take long to attract exactly the kind of guy we thought we were looking for. He was very good looking and he knew it, he was arrogant as hell and expected all women to kneel down and beg for his body. We played along. He was boastful about all the women he had had and what he had done with them. We pretended to be impressed. He clearly thought that all women were basically whores and I’ll be the first to admit that our actions that night did nothing to change his opinion. We all got a bit drunk and we took him home.

(Before the story continues a disclaimer and a warning. Sophie and myself are grown up, sexually experienced women in our late thirties. I have had a lot of sex with a lot of people usually but not always within the context of a relationship. Even so I usually preach and practice safe sex especially with people you don’t know well… In the account that follows we clearly did not practice safe sex. This was a calculated risk that was acceptable to us in this situation but which we absolutely do not recommend to others.)

So we took our man home, drank some more and got undressed. When we pulled his pants down the cock that sprang to life was exactly what we were looking for, large, meaty and sweet to taste and smell. It certainly revived our  instincts and memories of hot heterosexual sex and we went to work right away. We took turns going down on him, licking and sucking with years of expertise before allowing him to fuck us in various ways, places and combinations. For him I think it was a dream come true (although he probably tells his mates that this sort of thing happens to him every day). He didn’t deserve his luck. He really didn’t.

Yes he had a large penis and it was beautiful to behold, and even to play with. Unfortunately it was attached to an idiot. His entire vocabulary was a mixture of groans, “yeah baby” and expletives that seemed to come from the very worst seventies porn movie, made in Sweden and dubbed into English by somebody from Bulgaria. I have been known to murmur , moan or scream words and phrases including “fuck me” in various tones while having sex, but to have somebody repeat the phrase, “I’m fucking you baby” (in case I wasn’t aware of the fact maybe?) in a monotone like a demented robot no matter what he was doing, I was doing or Sophie was doing; became a little distracting to say the least… And frankly Sophie and I have vibrators with more sensitivity and variety of movement than this dick came equipped with. He did have stamina though. We couldn’t fault him for that. No vary speed, but a long battery.

Okay. I enjoyed the first five minutes. We both did. And we got what we were looking for; a penis attached to somebody we didn’t want to be with. It’s just that the not wanting to be with him got intense very quickly. We played along for quite a while to be polite (after all we had invited him round).

The only thing that did turn me on was seeing Sophie being fucked by a man at close quarters. I had never seen or experienced my love having sex with a man before and there was something strangely erotic about that. She had the same feeling watching me. We realised this as things were happening but the problem was he was still there… We were getting horny for each other but he was just in the way…

So we told him to stop. He was annoyed and slightly aggressive. In order to stop things getting nasty we told him that he had worn us out. He kind of accepted that. But then wanted to stick around thinking we might recover and be ready for more after a rest. I began to have nightmares that he would never leave or at least want to stick around until breakfast. And I began to get very uncomfortable with the fact that he might remember where we lived if he saw it in daylight (we had come home by taxi in a drunken state). Our solution was to get him even more drunk and very stoned. By the time we pushed him into a taxi we were pretty sure he no longer knew what planet he was on and would have very little memory of anything that had happened.

It wasn’t our finest moment, but it was an important one.

For myself I admit that there was a certain amount of relief that I can still respond sexually to men if I want to. But there was also a deep realisation that I don’t really want or need to. Sophie felt the same way. I don’t think either of us felt very proud of our adventure that night and I suppose it is true that we deliberately picked a guy who was not typical of the kind of men we have had genuine feelings for in the past. But when he had gone we were relived. And despite having drunk and smoked as much as he had, if not more, we were clear headed and relaxed and we had long and blissful sex.

Don’t get me wrong. We don’t dislike men at all. Previously most of our sexual experience has been with men and those were some great times. And we still find men and their willies sexy sometimes. The above adventure was a bit of a mistake but quite amusing to look back on. It did however underline where we are at now emotionally and sexually.

I doubt that we will ever deliberately go out looking for a threesome with a guy again. Hmm, I don’t think either of us have ever had an all female threesome though…

Cassie