Category Archives: tattoos

Those of us who do.

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Our daughter recently got her first tattoo (well two small ones actually; one on her shoulder, another on her ankle). From her reaction, I doubt if they will be her last. She seems to have inherited our ink addiction along with several other vices that run in our family; smoking cigarettes for example…

After getting her tattoo we stopped off for a celebratory glass of wine and a cigarette in a nearby bar. While there she made an observation that most of the people in the smoking section also had tattoos. This is something I have noticed before but haven’t thought much about recently. Of course not all people who have tattoos smoke, and not all people who smoke have tattoos; but there does seem to be a significant correlation… And I don’t think it stops there…

Sophie, Tina and I seem to be in that group of people who do all the things that society often regards as dangerous, riske or taboo. We are the bad girls (and of course there are bad boys too). We are the ones that do.

Some people may think that Sophie and I are setting our daughter a bad example. We both smoke and drink quite a lot. We are both covered in tattoos. We both like to party when we have the opportunity. We swear and curse in a variety of languages. We are libertines who have interesting and active sex lives. We blag our way backstage at gigs and openings to meet interesting people. We are respectable and moral in our own way but we are certainly not prim, clean living, virtuous women.

And at the tender age of 16 our daughter is already following in our footsteps in many ways and no doubt has her own secrets and vices as well. Perhaps we should hold back… Perhaps we should sit her down and explain that we are not great role models… Perhaps we should be or should have been more strict and forbid her to do all the dangerous and naughty things we have been doing since we were her age?

Perhaps we should feel guilty that this innocent sixteen year old is already smoking as much as we do, swearing as much as we do, probably drinking more than she tells us, starting to enjoy and experiment with sex as much as we do, tainting her clear skin with ink as we have done, and who knows what else??

Well we don’t feel guilty. We are glad. We want her to be one of the people who does. For us, that is important.

Sophie and I hope to live for a long time and perhaps we will because we have a lot more pleasure in life and thus less stress than many people do. But because of our smoking and drinking and other things we do or have done we acknowledge we are at greater risk of some illnesses than others might be. Tina’s life prospects might be impacted in a similar way. Even so, if I were to die tomorrow, this ink stained and still quite nimble body will be evidence of a life fully lived and experienced. I’m quite sure as I approach the end of my thirties that I have already seen and done more than a lot of people twice my age. I wouldn’t wish anything less or anything more boring for my daughter. I am glad Tina is becoming one of those bad girls who do naughty but exciting stuff and I wish her all the fun, excitement and adventure in the world.

I guess all this sounds quite hedonistic? Well yes, we are for sure hedonists. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that hedonism doesn’t rule out being a nice, kind person. This is not the place to boast but Sophie and I both do a lot to help other people through our work and other activities. As for our daughter, everything she wants to do in her life and career revolves around helping other people and animals. She may swear like a trooper and she may have replaced her childhood innocence with adult pleasures and pastimes but she has a heart of pure gold and that is not likely to change.

The truth is, “those of us who do” are pretty cool people once you get to know us. Many of us are actually “nice” (although we might not admit it out loud).

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Tumblr Picks 2 Cassie’s Choice

Following on from our last post in which Sophie picked out some Tumblr posts she had chosen for me, here are some posts that I originally picked for Sophie. How we go about choosing such images was explained in the previous post. We are reposting them here as an insight into us and because it is fun. We have tried to stay within the parameters that are acceptable to WordPress (our actual Tumblr site is much more X rated) however, although the first few images here are quite tame and inoffensive there will be some that are certainly Not Safe For Work. If you are likely to be offended by images which have some sexual and/or Satanic content please do not linger. For for those who are still here,,, Enjoy!

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We both love Autumn and Autumn scenes. It is a magical time of the year in every way. We don’t actually publish many of these kinds of scenes on our Tumblr blog because we generally go for naughtier things, but it is fair to say that this photo says as much about Sophie’s soul as some of the more specifically NSFW things.

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We both like the imagery of people “wearing their horns”. In the privacy of our own home and out in the woods we have been known to dress up in a similar way for certain rituals. It is a symbol of what we stand for and how we have changed since becoming Satanists. It is also very much a link back to nature, a recognition of being human animals and identifying with the primal horned God of the forests.

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Following on from the “Horns” theme, I chose the above image because it reminds me of our daughter. She has recently become a Satanist herself or to put it another way she has chosen to take a bite of the forbidden apple and we are very proud of her for doing do.

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Sophie and I are both quite heavily inked and would admit that tattoos are one of our shared fetishes. We like the above image because of the contrast between the innocence and naturalism of the model and the tattoos she has. Very interesting and sexy.

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I knew Sophie would like the above image because it is simply beautiful and classy. It also has some connection to the 20s theme I will explain later.

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We are both fans of the artist Egon Schiele. Some people find his paintings of women brutal. We just find them honest and respectful and there is a lot of tenderness there too.

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I chose this because it looks like, or could actually be Sophie on one of our naughtier Sunday breakfasts!

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If I hadn’t chosen the above image for Sophie, she would have chosen it for me. We know each other’s tastes and we both find that image incredibly sexy.

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One of the things we have found we have in common since we have been together is a taste for 1920s fashion and style. This shared enthusiasm has developed into quite a fetish.

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Beautiful tattoos and a beautiful body; what else is there to say? Oh yes we both like red heads and while we can’t claim it is natural we have spent long chunks of our adult lives with red hair.

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We have both always quite liked snakes, even before their symbolism took on new meaning for us. We are pretty good with spiders too now!

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It’s the 20s theme again but this time combined with lesbianism and a slight reference to BDSM. Very us.

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This is a still from a very sexy video clip I found. I am not going to explain every element of the symbolism here, but it has elements of satanic and magical ritual as well as obvious lesbian interest. Mostly it conveys the pleasure of letting go of conventions and allowing yourself to enjoy your true self. That sounds far too technical. Put it another way; Sophie and I cream our pants watching it!

Sexy Hands

I mentioned recently that I have a bit of a hand fetish (in fact we both do). AS we are on holiday at the moment with not much time to write, here are some sexy hands we like… I wonder if anybody can spot ours?
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Sexy…

One of the bonds that Sophie and I share is that we have very similar tastes in what we think is sexy. Also while being together we have come to appreciate the things that turn each other on but which may not have held so much fascination for us before.

We have a Tumblr site where we find and share photos and images that we think are interesting and sexy. Tumblr seems to be a bit more permissive than WordPress so we are able to share images that are a bit naughtier than tend to be allowed here… But as an exercise we decided to choose a few of the tamer images we have posted there and write about why we think they are sexy. And maybe in so doing we will find and/or reveal a few things about ourselves that we haven’t shared before.

The first is one of mine. I have a bit of a fetish for hands and fingers.

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I like men with large, strong and slightly rough hands; hands that can do work but which can be softer and more gentle when needed. But I have always found women’s hands and fingers even more sexy. I like women’s fingers to be long and elegant. As with many other aspects of style and life I like women’s hands and fingers to look sweet and innocent but then corrupted and knowing as well. And I’ll admit I can even get turned on by my own hands when I can decorate them a bit. I always wear a few chunky silver rings and when I am not working I get a bit excessive and choose rings with magical or traditional symbols on them. I usually keep my nails long and like painting them; nearly always black or dark reds and purples. I never used to pay money to manicure my my nails or get nail extensions but Sophie has converted me to that! We both like to scratch and tickle with finger-nails during sex. In terms of pure looks, hands and fingers are one of the first things I notice in other people.

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Sophie speaking… I chose the above photo because it shows three things that Cassie and I find sexy. Firstly, women, especially pretty ones. Cassie and I are both bisexual but while it was not always the case, I think we are both more lesbian now in our tastes. I am certainly much more often turned on by other women than I am with men. I like painting women, I like photographing women and I find Cassie more sexy than any man I have ever slept with. Then we both like tattoos. We like them on ourselves and we find good, artistic tattoos very sexy on both men and women. By this stage we are both quite heavily inked. When we we were younger we were quite careful to have smaller discrete tats that could be easily hidden. These days we are a bit less discrete and we have plans… Cassie jokes that when we are a bit older we are going to be really  scary, ink stained, wrinkled old crones. Perversely I find that idea quite sexy in itself! And of course we both smoke and think that smoking can look sexy  (even if you are not supposed to say things like that these days).

Well, now to get a bit more NSFW…

We both like lingere and the various ways of putting it on and taking it off…

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Lace and leather, black and red…

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Cassie again… As a child I don’t think I liked olives. Now they are one of my favourite nibbles… Some tastes evolve. What was once unpleasantly sour and salty becomes a delight to the taste buds. Spirits that once seemed harsh and burned the throat become like treacle when you learn how to appreciate them… And it is the same with sex. Once the basics have been learned there are an infinite number of subtleties and variations to explore. The once forbidden areas, the boundaries and hinterland between pleasure and pain become a playground and a school… We like to explore. We are not limited by outdated morals and prohibitions. The only limits are our imaginations…

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But while we enjoy various elements of BDSM, sometimes it is simple depictions of beauty, love and tenderness that are the most erotic to look at and indulge in…

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Tattoos

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Being a bit narcissistic I was just admiring a photo of me taken on my recent holiday in Greece in which some of my tattoos are clearly visible. I am quite pleased with the way my ink-work is developing. Surprisingly I don’t think I have written a post about tattoos before. It’s a surprise because in some ways my tattoos are a fairly fundamental aspect of my identity. I’m supposed to note them down on my passport applications; they are part of how I am recognised. In fact by this stage I am not just a woman who has a few tattoos, I think I qualify as a heavily inked woman. I passed the stage where all my inkwork could be hidden quite some time ago.

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Why do I have tattoos? Why does anybody?  And why do some people hate the very idea of them?

Some of it is down to personal taste. Inked skin and or individual tattoo designs will appeal to some people and not others. Some people will always find pure, unblemished skin to be more attractive. In some ways getting a tattoo is not much different than buying a new dress, it is a way of highlighting aspects of your body, expressing your mood, altering your appearance and how you are perceived. In other ways however tattoos are very different, they are in essence permanent and their impact and significance can affect how you feel and how you are seen for all time. They are much more than skin deep. You can always take a dress off, but a tattoo becomes part of who you are.

I think I always liked tattoos and always wanted to have some. I found men and women who had tattoos attractive, perhaps more attractive than those who didn’t. Just taste? Well maybe, but I also think there is a certain artistic leaning and sense of rebellion that is common to many of us who are inked. Also I have often found that inked people have  strong but unconventional spiritual or philosophical values. To a degree there is a tribal aspect, our tattoos are like badges which give some of us a common reference point while perhaps separating us from others. Tattoos are certainly a form of self expression worn by people for whom individuality and self expression are important values.

Tattoos have a long history, and perhaps for some their own tattoos are a way of buying into or identifying with that history. It also has to be said that in recent years tattoos have become very trendy and fashionable. It is almost normal for young people to have at least one tattoo these days. I have to admit I am a bit snobbish about my tattoos and I slightly look down on those who have tattoos just to be in with fashion. I suspect a lot of them will be lasered off later in life. Mine won’t be.

The process of getting inked can have addictive qualities for many of us. It is a collaborative and very intimate process in which you expose your personality and interests as well as your naked skin to the artist who will permanently change your appearance. It can also involve significant pain over a significant period of time. While some would be completely put off by that, some of us find a perverse pleasure in it, or at least in the natural endorphins that kick in and give us a natural high while the work is being done.

Then there is the satisfaction of seeing designs which have been in your imagination or on paper become a living and breathing part of your skin, your body, your self. Personally I also get pleasure and satisfaction from the knowledge that once those designs are part of me they will age as I do, along with my teeth and my bones, my hair and my heart. They may not always look beautiful in a pristine way but they will acquire a deeper beauty that comes from age and experience.

There will be some who think things are always more beautiful in their purest form and that our bodies should not be altered from what nature intended. I have never had that mentality. There is a beauty in the innocence that children are born with, but in my view it’s beauty lies in the very fact of it’s transience. We are supposed to live. A new toy is not supposed to be kept in it’s wrapper so that collectors can pay millions for it some time in the future; a new toy is supposed to be played with. If I am old when I die, my skin will be marked by ink that has darkened as my my skin has withered. My liver will show the effects of all the wine I consumed, my lungs will betray the fact that I smoked and all my organs will show signs of the life I soaked up. If I have an autopsy the medics will be in no doubt that I was a woman who lived a lot!

Moreover we are always changed by life anyway. We grow older. We acquire scars, lines and wrinkles. I think it is nice to have some input into the way our bodies are modified by life, to have a personal element of design and control over how we appear. And I love art, so having art etched into my skin is a natural extension of my interests and passions. I concede it may not be so important to people for whom art is less important.

I am however glad I waited until I was really sure I wanted tattoos. While I may be heavily inked myself, I wouldn’t want any child of mine to start getting tattooed until they were at least 18 (as I was). Once they are mature enough though, I will certainly respect their choices.

My first tattoo was a small ying-yang symbol. It had and still has a lot of significance for my outlook on life; and it was also small and discrete enough to be a good experimental tattoo. If I hadn’t liked it much, or if I had disliked the whole process it would have been easy to stop there. I did like it though…

So my inkwork has become like a personal diary, a mosaic of symbols and designs that show the story of my life and the things that have been important to me at various times. The meanings of some of the motifs are probably obvious, while others will remain enigmatic to everyone but me and those with whom I share the stories.

The picture story began with one or two smallish tattoos every year for about three years and then stopped. I had to consider how other people viewed people with tattoos and how that might affect my work prospects. Even now I’d strongly advise young people to think a lot about that before having more tattoos.

Then a few years ago I felt I had gained enough respect and security in my work life that having more ink would not affect me negatively. I also had enough money to pay for some more extensive work by good artists. And the fact that tattoos seem to be becoming more socially acceptable helped as well. Since then I have been having some more substantial work done on myself. I’d say I am about two thirds of the way through at this stage, but I am already happy with the way it is going…

Happy in my own inked skin.

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Favorite vices

I have been having one of those days where I wanted to write something but couldn’t really think of anything that inspired me. Then I looked again at some questions I was asked to answer as part of an award my other blog received and thought I might go into a bit more detail here. (I will hopefully publish the award post in Devil’s Advocate later this week)

What are your vices?

And the short answer was;- Sex, cigarettes, alcohol, ink, musicians, and flirting.

Before going into more details I suppose I should say a bit about what vices actually are. According to Wikipedia (which we all know is never wrong) Vice is a practice or a behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a negative character trait, a defect, an infirmity, or merely a bad habit. A guilty pleasure perhaps…

Well I don’t totally agree with that definition and I fully admit I enjoy quite a lot of things that other people might think are immoral or even depraved. But I suppose I will take vices to mean things I enjoy which other people may think I should feel guilty about. So, with that said…

1) Sex.

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No guilt or apologies here, I like sex a lot. I like having sex, I like thinking about sex, I like reading about sex and I sometimes even like watching other people having sex. Should porn be a separate category? Well I like that too. I like the way my body feels and the way my thoughts and feelings change when having sex. I like sex with men. I like sex with women. I like to have sex as often as possible (which doesn’t mean I always can).

But hang on a moment… Wouldn’t 90% of people agree with 70% or more of what I have written above? What is really immoral or naughty about liking sex? And yet I bet a lot of people would consider it to be a vice. For me it is just part of being human, part of feeling alive… I only include sex as a vice here because society often depicts it in that way.

2) Cigarettes. I sometimes get the feeling that this might be the least socially acceptable thing on my list of vices. We all know smoking is bad for our health and I am supposed to feel ashamed to admit my nicotine habit. But I don’t feel ashamed. I like smoking, I pretty much always have done. It gives me pleasure. I like the taste, the feel, the ritual and everything associated with smoking cigarettes. I like the kick that I get from nicotine. I like a cigarette with my coffee, or with a glass of wine. I like inhaling deeply and exhaling my worries when I am feeling stressed.I like being with other smokers. I don’t smoke heavily (in my opinion) but I do enjoy every cigarette I smoke. If it is truly a vice it is a very pleasurable one for me.

3) Alcohol. Yes I like a drink.  I dink moderately but regularly and if I want to I can drink quite a lot. I like wine and spirits. I like the slightly harsh  and dry taste of alcoholic drinks. I like the effect it has on me. I like loosing a certain amount of control, I like the buzz, I like the feeling of relaxation. I like a drink with my dinner. I like drinking with friends. I like a drink when I’m flying. I like a drink to celebrate something. However; I don’t like being totally drunk and nor do I like being in the company of people who are drunk out of their minds.

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4) Ink (Tattoos) I have several tattoos; a couple of big ones and a few small ones;  if I had more money and didn’t have to be a bit conservative in my appearance for work reasons I would probably have a lot more. I love them. I love them on me and I love them on other people. I like the process of getting them. I like the way pain turns to heat and blood and then something beautiful emerges. All my tats are very personal. I like the fact that they are carved into my skin and are permanent; that my outward appearance is permanently changed by having them. At the moment I am young and I think they look pretty on me but I accept that one day I will be old… Yes, I’ll be an old hag and my tattoos will probably look quite ugly by then. But they will be as much a part of me as my sagging skin and the wrinkles and scars I didn’t choose to be part of me.

5) Musicians… And artists. I go out of my way to get to know such people. I have been and probably always will be a bit of a groupie. I love music and art and I am fascinated by the people who dedicate their lives to producing such beauty. Many a time I have blagged my way back-stage at gigs although these days I generally find myself on the guest list. I love mixing with such people. I like getting as close as possible (yes, even that close). But my aim is always to make deep connections, and fortunately I have usually managed to do that.

6) Flirting. This is the only vice I feel slightly guilty about because I admit it does sometimes get a bit out of hand and people’s feelings can get hurt. But I am naturally flirtatious. I like people. I like being friendly. I fully admit I also like the sense of power that sometimes comes from using my “womanly wiles”. Mostly even at my most flirtatious all I really want is to be friendly and get to know somebody better, but it can happen that people misread my signals or expect more than what I am offering. And even when I realize it is going in that direction, I find it hard to suddenly stop my flirting. My bad.

Do you…?

I seem to have a lack of time and inspiration at the moment so here is a copy of a little survey I did on a forum…

Do you..

Smoke? Yes, Usually Marlboro or Camel lights, 10 to 15 per day. Cigarillos and the occasional cigar too.

Drink? Yes, mainly wine. I like Gin & Tonics, Vodka and Orange and Mojitos.

Eat meat? Yes.

Do sports? Not really, I like swimming though.

Take regular exercise? Yes, lots of walking.

Have an I Pod? Yes, my favorite piece of technology.

Have a pet? I share a cat with my landlord.

Have a house? No, I rent the flat I live in but spend a lot of time traveling.

Have a significant other? No… Well maybe soon. 😉

Have children? No, but I’d like to.

Have a car? No but I can drive.

Have a bicycle? No

Have a medical condition? I have dodgy knees following an accident.

Have a job? Yes, I teach and promote language courses.

Sing in the shower? Yes sometimes.

Sleep alone? More often than I would like.

Wear socks? No

Write? Yes

Read? Yes but not as much as I should.

Watch TV? Very rarely when traveling. I do sometimes have CNN or BBC news on in the background in my hotel.

Go to the movies? Once every couple of months.

Listen to the radio? Yes; LBC, Radio 4 or Radio 6 in the UK, FM4 in and around Austria

Text/SMS a lot? Not really.

Dream in color? Yes

Daydream? Yes

Speak more than one language? Yes but not perfectly.

Dye your hair? Oh yes! 

Tell jokes? Very badly.

Collect something? Stones and crystals, music and musicians!

Belong to a fan club? Not any more. Used to though.

Like wasabi? Not much.

Like salt and vinegar crisps? No, but cheese and onion yes.

Like chocolate? Yes but I am not as addicted as many people seem to be.

Brush and floss daily? Brush daily yes, flossing only occationally.

Have a tattoo? Several.

Climb every mountain? Not actual mountains but I do like trying new things.

Do your own thing? You could safely say so.