Without Consent It Is Rape

image

 

A girl goes to a party, drinks too much, wakes up disheveled and disoriented behind a dumpster, battered and bruised and is taken to hospital. Over the course of the next few days the full horror of the abuse she has been subjected to becomes apparent. But at least there were witnesses to what happened to her (who may in fact have prevented the rape from being even worse) and the rapist has been caught. So surely justice will come quickly and fully? Not so. She then has to endure a whole year in which she is portrayed as the promiscuous guilty party who drank too much and pretty much deserved what she got. The perpetrator is portrayed as a normally good guy who just drank too much and got a bit carried away. The jury were not fooled and found him guilty on all charges. The judge however thought he deserved a break, after all he was an athlete with a glittering career ahead of him and why should half an hour of recklessness spoil his whole life; so the judge gave him the minimum sentence possible.

Well that is the story of Brock Turner the rapist and his victim. You have probably seen it in the news and read about it on the Internet. It doesn’t quite end there. The victim wrote an impact statement which was so articulate and so inspiring that it has gone viral. We have given a link to it at the end of this post and would urge absolutely everybody to read it. We think it should form the basis of a whole series of social and sex education classes in America and the civilised world.

We wanted to blog about this because we often write about sex. We are sex positive feminists. We like sex. We think sex is healthy and good. We have as much sex as possible with each other and sometimes with others. We enjoy what some call darker or kinky sex. There have been times in our lives when we could have been described as promiscuous. NONE OF THAT GIVES ANYBODY PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH US OR ANYBODY ELSE. WITHOUT MEANINGFUL CONSENT, IT IS RAPE. ALWAYS.

We feel strongly about this because in writing this blog we assume our sentiments and our understanding is shared by other liberated and mature women and men and we want in our small way to normalise sex and sexuality; to bring it out of the closet and make it something that adults can enjoy and discuss openly and maturely.

But the reality is that there are some troglodyte boys out there who may never become real men and may never understand the realities of sex. So here is a message for anybody that is bordering on that mentality…

It is true that some women enjoy consensual sex a lot. Some women like to fuck and be fucked in all sorts of ways and situations as long as they give meaningful consent. Yes, some women, including us, like to be sexy, perhaps even provocatively so. But without consent you are not allowed to do anything. Without consent, you don’t even have the right to use our first names. We hope that is clear. 90% of people get it. If you are in the ignorant minority who don’t get it, seek counselling, because you are wrong and you risk hurting somebody and spending many years in prison.

Here is a link to the letter Brock Turner’s victim wrote and read out in court. It is a long and harrowing read but ultimately empowering and perhaps even hopeful. We urge all our readers to read it and let all its messages and implications sink in.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.nw8RMQYbe#.otGD1VNb5

Otherization Part II: of religion, race and sexual orientation

Part two of the article we have reblogged below. Another intelligent read.

Just Merveilleux

turtles-cutting-in-line

Otherization is not done casually or accidentally. It exists in one context and one context alone. It’s designed to afford one’s self privileges that were not earned. It’s an attack on meritocracy. It’s the sociocultural version of cutting in line.

Going back to my previous example: When Ferguson wrote The Psychology of the Negro, we have from the very title the presumption and implication, the statement, that people of African descent are a different category of animal- one with its very own psychology. By making blacks other the author first allows himself to claim superiority for his own self/group. Then he goes further by stating the people being studied are “poor in abstract thought, but good in physical responses. Combined with “enormously significant racial differences in general intelligence could not be remedied by education” we have not just the establishment of a social hierarchy, but one that has no chance of being…

View original post 513 more words

From Cardinal Cañizares to Donald Trump to Brexit: The Objective of Othering.

A very good article. We will publish part two here as well.

Just Merveilleux

“Social identities are relational; groups typically define themselves in relation to others. This is because identity has little meaning without the “other”. So, by defining itself a group defines others. Identity is rarely claimed or assigned for its own sake. These definitions of self and others have purposes and consequences. They are tied to rewards and punishment, which may be material or symbolic. There is usually an expectation of gain or loss as a consequence of identity claims. This is why identities are contested. Power is implicated here, and because groups do not have equal powers to define both self and the other, the consequences reflect these power differentials. Often notions of superiority and inferiority are embedded in particular identities.” Andrew Okolie

Interesting isn’t it? Incredibly important in the current socio-political climate. I thought it was worth posting because of a comment on the Cardinal Cañizares post:

“I suspect Canizares was…

View original post 257 more words

What is Art? — thepurplebroom

Art is not precision, mathematics, and science, Art is not white walls with pretty, descriptive tags, It is not a logical essay to be picked apart, for fact, and grammar. Art is pen-scratch itching through your fingers and skin, It is heart-thread pumping paint and ink through your veins. It is violence, emotion and […]

via What is Art? — thepurplebroom

Man in dress and funny hat says gender equality is biggest threat to civilization in all human history. — Just Merveilleux

Mithra help us all! Cardinal Cañizares of Valencia, sporting his white muumuu and a hat which doubles as a lightning rod, has been bestowing his senility on anyone willing to listen. His current bugbears are the supposed “Gay Empire” and the epic dangers of gender equality. How tiresome. If a god really existed, that very heavy silver crucifix behind him […]

via Man in dress and funny hat says gender equality is biggest threat to civilization in all human history. — Just Merveilleux

Thank the devil for letting me be me.

Devil's Advocates

image

I guess in many people’s opinion I am a bad person. I am self centred and I admit to having a big ego. I can be harsh or even cruel if I decide to be. I probably seem to be amoral. I blaspheme, I swear, I drink and smoke and enjoy many other vices. I have sex with both men and women. My sexual tastes can be quite dark, some might say perverse. I like erotica and even some fairly hardcore porn. My girlfriend and I make up our own relationship rules. In life I do sometimes lie and cheat (though, not with my girlfriend). I have no hesitation in taking revenge as and when it serves my purpose. If it suited my needs or purposes there is probably no law I wouldn’t break or sin I wouldn’t commit. So yes, I guess those things make me “bad” in many…

View original post 1,107 more words

Savoring the forbidden fruit

Failed to publish first time round.

Cassie & Sophie NSFW

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.”
W.B. Yeats, The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Some think that the forbidden fruit is evil and should not be touched. Some think that one bite will wipe away all your innocence and spoil you forever. Some of us doubt that is true. Some of us enjoyed giving in to temptation. Maybe we are dammed. Maybe we are just liberated… We tasted knowledge of the forbidden and enjoyed it…

tumblr_mfr01omkEi1rkijzoo1_500

Have we lost our innocence? Perhaps. Are we changed? Certainly.

tumblr_o0g02sMk5V1uw6alvo1_500

But we like the taste of knowledge. We enjoy the pleasures of the senses. So we can either ignore the new world or we can indulge in it. We could try and run from the darkness or we could learn to…

View original post 124 more words