Tag Archives: sex

Without Consent It Is Rape

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A girl goes to a party, drinks too much, wakes up disheveled and disoriented behind a dumpster, battered and bruised and is taken to hospital. Over the course of the next few days the full horror of the abuse she has been subjected to becomes apparent. But at least there were witnesses to what happened to her (who may in fact have prevented the rape from being even worse) and the rapist has been caught. So surely justice will come quickly and fully? Not so. She then has to endure a whole year in which she is portrayed as the promiscuous guilty party who drank too much and pretty much deserved what she got. The perpetrator is portrayed as a normally good guy who just drank too much and got a bit carried away. The jury were not fooled and found him guilty on all charges. The judge however thought he deserved a break, after all he was an athlete with a glittering career ahead of him and why should half an hour of recklessness spoil his whole life; so the judge gave him the minimum sentence possible.

Well that is the story of Brock Turner the rapist and his victim. You have probably seen it in the news and read about it on the Internet. It doesn’t quite end there. The victim wrote an impact statement which was so articulate and so inspiring that it has gone viral. We have given a link to it at the end of this post and would urge absolutely everybody to read it. We think it should form the basis of a whole series of social and sex education classes in America and the civilised world.

We wanted to blog about this because we often write about sex. We are sex positive feminists. We like sex. We think sex is healthy and good. We have as much sex as possible with each other and sometimes with others. We enjoy what some call darker or kinky sex. There have been times in our lives when we could have been described as promiscuous. NONE OF THAT GIVES ANYBODY PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH US OR ANYBODY ELSE. WITHOUT MEANINGFUL CONSENT, IT IS RAPE. ALWAYS.

We feel strongly about this because in writing this blog we assume our sentiments and our understanding is shared by other liberated and mature women and men and we want in our small way to normalise sex and sexuality; to bring it out of the closet and make it something that adults can enjoy and discuss openly and maturely.

But the reality is that there are some troglodyte boys out there who may never become real men and may never understand the realities of sex. So here is a message for anybody that is bordering on that mentality…

It is true that some women enjoy consensual sex a lot. Some women like to fuck and be fucked in all sorts of ways and situations as long as they give meaningful consent. Yes, some women, including us, like to be sexy, perhaps even provocatively so. But without consent you are not allowed to do anything. Without consent, you don’t even have the right to use our first names. We hope that is clear. 90% of people get it. If you are in the ignorant minority who don’t get it, seek counselling, because you are wrong and you risk hurting somebody and spending many years in prison.

Here is a link to the letter Brock Turner’s victim wrote and read out in court. It is a long and harrowing read but ultimately empowering and perhaps even hopeful. We urge all our readers to read it and let all its messages and implications sink in.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.nw8RMQYbe#.otGD1VNb5

Sex, Porn, Feminism, Victimhood

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I guess this post will get us into trouble with some. Somebody sent me a link to the following article and asked for my opinion. It is an article that raises so many issues and which by implication accuses Sophie and me of being non feminists and much worse. I am going to try and address some of the points raised in the article. I want to start by saying however that while I disagree with the tone and conclusions of the article, I do think some of the issues raised deserve serious and ongoing consideration.

The article can be found here.http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/12/09/the-sexiest-oppression/

The article by Natasha Chart starts with some very dubious and convoluted claims. Firstly she gives scant details of a story from Britain’s Daily Mirror in which an elderly woman is said to have died after a sex game went badly wrong. She then states quite categorically that in a just, feminist world, the neighbor who was involved in the sex game should have been tried for murder. In fact she equates his actions with the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. Now we have looked at the account in The Mirror and it is fair to say there is not much more detail there than in Ms Chart’s account. What is clear is that the local authorities were convinced that there was more evidence for a tragic accident than for murder. Ms Chart wants us to believe that is because we live in a “male supremasist” world. The fact remains however that the only judge who has found the neighbor guilty of being a murderous, woman hating, monster is Ms Chart herself; and this is based solely on the scant evidence contained in a tabloid newspaper and her own very jaded opinions.

Then within a few tortuous, logic defying sentences such as these;-

…This is how you turn oppression into a titillating taboo that isn’t taken seriously. This is how you turn public health and safety threats like rape, torture, and murder, into “sex.” Which is private.

Talking about sex in public is obscenity. So talking about the way women are threatened and physically abused becomes obscenity and, in turn, becomes “sex.” As a result, everything about women’s bodies and oppression is turned into private obscenity that can’t be discussed like other topics…

She blames men in general, pornography, church and religious authorities and women like Sophie and myself for all that is wrong in the world and for the fears and prejudices that clearly dominate her daily life. She finally comes to the conclusion;-

…There is no part of male supremacist culture that doesn’t believe that women owe men sex, by which it is usually meant, she owes him sexual subservience and arousal over his use of force or coercion. Porn and church teachings are simply the most prominent outlets for this view, almost universally held…

I wonder how she would account for women such as Sophie and myself who even without men around, play sexual and psychological games of dominance and submission? I wonder if she is capable of understanding that such activities can be done with love and can be deeply pleasurable and fulfilling to both parties equally (no matter which role they are playing and no matter what genders they happen to be)?

Well I doubt that she can. She states in the same article that she was in the past a serial victim of  abusive relationships. And frankly it is the cries and screams of a serial victim who blames the world for her own mistakes that sing out most loudly in this article. That sounds harsh, doesn’t it? And I don’t want to be drawn in to blaming the victim, but…

We have all known women (and sometimes men) who repeatedly wind up in abusive relationships of various types. We try to warn them, but they won’t or can’t listen. Many of us know people who repeatedly have problems with drugs, or alcohol, or gambling… We cannot help the victim until the victim realises the truth of their predicament and owns it. Yes there are some total bastards out there; there are sick, twisted and vicious men and women… But not all men or women are bad because of the sins of the ones we are attracted to… Drugs and alcohol are not bad in themselves… Sometimes we have to acknowledge that the problem belongs to us and stop blaming others and being angry at half the world.

And sadly the article we are discussing here is so infused with that kind of mis-directed anger that it will find no uncritical audience except for other similarly damaged souls.

It is genuinely sad because it does touch on issues which need to be discussed and grappled with more openly. Even those of us who describe ourselves as “sex positive feminists” have to admit that there is still far too much exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry.

Some weeks ago Sophie and I were looking through a site we often visit for sexy and pornographic images. Some of the images we enjoy would be described as fairly hardcore by some and may elude to, or depict quite clearly, things associated with bondage, dominance, submission and mild violence. (Anybody shocked by that revelation has not been following our blogs very closely). However while browsing that site we came across something that made us pause and indeed left us feeling bad and sullied. It was a short video gif which showed a woman being subjected to very aggressive sex by two men at the same time. We both felt that the woman was not consenting, that she was probably full of drugs and that she looked absolutely terrified and out of control. We felt as if we were witnessing an actual rape. We felt sick and reported the image. But I have to admit that reporting that image probably didn’t achieve much and almost certainly did nothing to help the woman concerned. And we can’t escape from the fact that while we choose to believe most of the pornographic images we look at involve people who are fully consenting at every level; some clearly aren’t.

So what are our options? Let’s remove any semblance of kid gloves. We are two women who are unashamed hedonists, who have enjoyed colourful and diverse sexual encounters with each other and with other women and men. Our sexual tastes and fetishes cover most of the BDSM spectrum and go well beyond that. We enjoy porn. Most of our friends and acquaintances have similarly liberal views and tastes in matters of sex and sexuality. But we acknowledge that there is still a lot of exploitation in all aspects of the sex industry and there are real victims.

We could spurn all forms of sexual enjoyment outside of each other. We could stop looking at any form of pornography for fear that there may have been exploitation in the making of it. We could go further and campaign against all forms of pornography. Equally we could campaign against the very notion of prostitution where there is also undoubtedly gross exploitation. And besides all that we could hate all men and blame them for the perversion of sex, sexuality and gender roles in society. I suspect that is what Ms Chart would like us to do.

But this would not work and would ultimately be disempowering for us and all women and men. It would be defeatist. It would be like saying men have fucked up everything to do with sex so we should retreat to some puritanical version of vanilla sexuality where there can be no danger of exploitation so long as we all repeat the same, supposedly feminist, mantra. And if we happen to have tastes which are not vanilla we must remember that this is only because we have been brainwashed by the previous Male Supremacist society. In other words we must remember at all times that We are all victims and live accordingly!

But why should we allow one form of oppressive orthodoxy to be replaced by another one? For hundreds of years the Christian Church and other religious institutions have sought to control people, especially women, by policing sexuality; by determining what we are allowed to do and think in matters of sex and then condemning everything else as sinful. Many women of my parents generation would be envious of the sexual freedoms and independence we enjoy. Moreover those who happen to be gay or transgender or who can’t be pigeon holed anywhere on the sexuality spectrum are just beginning to enjoy liberties and acceptance that their predecessors could not of imagined. We should not allow victim driven forms of feminism to rob us of the freedoms we enjoy and which were many years in the winning.

What we must do however is enjoy our sexual freedoms responsibly. Where we see exploitation and crime we must treat it and report it as such. Some people can be empowered by their consensual participation in the production of pornography, and nobody has the right to judge them for that. But as consumers of pornography we must insist on only buying into that type of porn. We should aid in the hunting down and prosecution of all criminal activity in the sex industry. We should flag up anything suspect as soon as we see it. We should only pay for and share material we are confident is consensual and fully legal. This will not cure exploitation quickly but if there is any truth in the capitalist idea of market forces, eventually the exploitative, criminal side of the sex industry will be squeezed out.

We should aim to defeat the misogynists, the exploiters and the criminals by acting as responsible and empowered adults who are comfortable with our sexuality and our gender. Fearful and vindictive victims are unlikely to achieve anything except by totalitarian control.

Cassie

Which way now?

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We have been reposting a few posts we like here but other than that we are at a bit of a loss to know what to do with this blog at the moment.

In terms of writing we devote most of our creative energy to our Satanism blog, Devils Advocates. Being politically incorrect we also write about our unashamed enjoyment of smoking in Smokers Writes. We had intended this blog to be for anything that didn’t fit in either of those places with an emphasis on sexy or sex related posts. Well maybe that is still the case but while we are both hedonists who enjoy indulging in many forms of kink and sexuality, we are not actually sex writers… So there hasn’t been an awful lot to post recently. Moreover we don’t want to limit ourselves to just that.

We don’t want to close or permanently neglect this site though. It just seems that our other blogs and life outside the blogosphere are taking up all our time at the moment.

We are open to suggestions.

Meanwhile watch this space. Who knows what will emerge.

Cassie and Sophie

Six Years Old!

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According to WordPress it is six years since I started this blog. A lot has happened and changed in six years!

Sophie and I have been writing this blog together for the last few years but she said this anniversary post should be by me. Below you can see my very first blog entry here. It makes me cringe a bit to read it now but I guess the person who made it is still a large part of the person I am. After that you can read a summery of our most popular posts with a few thoughts from me. the there are some nice and progressively naughty photos we have posted over the years. And then a few thoughts going forward.

So this was my first ever post. (I’ll blush in a corner while you read it).

Well I don’t intend to write something here every day but since I have half an hour spare and I want to put some meat on the bones of this blog I might as well write something while I’m sipping wine and smoking my last but one cigarette of the day…

The day started well. I woke up early and, well let’s say eagerly. Andy is staying over for a few days. We both travel a lot in our jobs and so the rare times we actually spend together are precious. Thus, the first few hours of the morning were, let’s say, energetic and satisfying! 😉 It left me with an energy buzz which, thankfully, has stayed with me through most of the day.

After Andy left to go off to a meeting in London,  I went round to my Mum’s. She wasn’t having a good day; very confused and forgetful and generally very frail. I took her for a walk and then cooked dinner for her. It worries me how much she depends on me and in a couple of weeks I’ll be working abroad for a couple of months again and I’m seriously concerned about how she will cope. I am trying to persuade her to get some help, but she is being very stubborn.

I am sure there are some who would think that if I am really a witch I should be able to do some quick magic spell to make her well again. I only wish life was that simple. That’s not to say I don’t try some things from time to time;- energy work mostly. However, in order to transfer positive and healthy energy to her I have to be careful not to absorb too much of her fear, frustration and depression. That is not so easy as I am an empath.

This afternoon I spent some time on my lap-top (mostly setting up this blog) and bullied Mum into going for another short walk for some fresh air. Then I stayed at her place watching TV untill she went to bed. Then I came home…

Andy will be back any minute and it will be nice to just snuggle for a while… Mind you I am hoping my last ciggie of the day will be a post coital one!

…I think I got my wish. Andy and I split up amicably not long after. It turns out that was my last serious relationship with a man. When I started this blog I described myself as bisexual and wrote quite a lot of posts on that topic. Now I guess I’m still bisexual but I identify more as a lesbian. Meeting Sophie and moving in with her has been one of the happiest and most significant changes of the last six years.

I’m still a witch but whereas I used to be quite passionately pagan, I am now even more passionately Satanist.

My mother’s deterioration and eventual death last year was the most difficult and saddest thing to bare during the last six years. It is something I am still coming to terms with.

Here is a list of our most popular posts according to WordPress.

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I think it is significant and somewhat pleasing that The Accidental Lesbian comes in at the top of the list, it is the one post that encapsulates the biggest change in my persona during the past six years.

There are several posts about smoking in the list. In fact we were writing on that subject so often that we started a separate blog for it.

I’m glad Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men made it into the list as our most popular musical post. It is still my favourites song of the last decade and has all sorts of personal meanings to me.

And regular readers will not be at all surprised that most of the other posts in the list are about various aspects of sex and sexuality. Funnily enough I think the Cassie of six years ago would have found that quite surprising.

And here are a few photos that I like from the last six years.

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Kissing

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Waterhouse Lady Of Shalott

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Inked Girls Gallery 143 (7)

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I am without doubt a darker and harder person than I was when this this blog began but I am far more secure and happier in my own skin.

My lover is my life partner. I have a daughter whom I love as much as if she had come from my own loins.

I don’t know what will happen to this blog in the months and years to come but the story of Cassie and Sophie will continue.

Food, Drink And Sex

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I have always thought there were some big similarities between food, drink and sex and the way those subjects are discussed and written about. There are of course some big differences too. I will discuss all of those things in this post. Regular readers will know that Sophie and I have decided to be open about sex in this blog and perhaps push the boarders a bit, you will also know that Sophie has already “taken the plunge” and that I am lagging behind a bit. That will be rectified in this post and those that are interested may discover some things that could intrigue, titilate, surprise or even disgust them in relation to my own sexual experiences. So be it. However in writing about the parallels between drinking, eating and sex I hope also to explain more clearly why Sophie and I feel it is a positive thing to write revealing and adult rated things about sex in this blog.

Virtually all adult human beings eat, drink and fuck. These activities are a normal and healthy part of life. All of these things can be pleasurable and all can be harmful in various ways and situations. They can be done for simple biological imperative and they can also be indulged in for fun and for pure pleasure. There are religious, social and cultural customs and taboos attached to all of them but in the western world it seems that sex is the most taboo and least openly discussed of these three things. And if sex is described or discussed in as much detail as a recipe for the most mouth watering lasagne, or the subtle charms of a fruity Bordeaux, it will most likely be described as pornography.

There are thousands of books and blogs about food and drink, wining and dining… Every aspect of food from growing it to eating it is covered in great detail. Writers are allowed to go into raptures about particular recipes, specialities, restaurants and cooks. They are allowed to openly salivate about the merits of certain produce, the qualities and complexities of mushrooms, the tenderness of beef, the aroma of cheeses or the best way to enjoy oysters. They can enthuse about the wines and beers of a region. They can celebrate the differences,both bold and subtle, between different vintages. And they can extol the virtues and the fun of drinking various alcoholic beverages around the world. Much of this writing is considered learned, classy and cultural. But if we go into the same amount of detail about sex, how will that be considered?

Well Sophie and I consider sex to be normal, healthy, human, beautiful, inspirational and fun; and we intend to write about it in that way and to cover all those aspects of it. We want to write about it and our experiences of it in the way that other people write about food and drink. We want to cover as many ingredients as possible and describe in detail some of our favourite recipes. We may get excited over some things which are an acquired taste but also share our fondness for things that most people enjoy. We may confess the things we find intoxicating. We may discuss some rare vintages or some exotic cocktails we have enjoyed…

So here are a few tasters from the menu of my personal pleasures…

Starters.
I often like to pleasure myself with my fingers before the main course. I guess this grew out of masturbation but it has developed into something I like to share with my partner. The basics are my own fingers and my own clit and the interplay of sensations between the two. Dildos or vibrators can also be used but generally during this stage of foreplay I really enjoy the sensation of my own flesh on my own flesh. Maybe it is the sense of control, maybe it is the pleasure feedback loop (I swear at times my fingertips themselves are close to orgasm). When the lips of my clit are radiating waves of pleasure I begin to probe myself deeper. By this time my fingers feel as if they are giving off sparks and sometimes my whole hand ends up inside me. If all this sounds a bit solitary, the real thrill is having my partner there watching me loose control. If they can gently but firmly massage my breasts or my bum while I am doing this or kiss and lick me in the places my long term partners know about, the overall sensation is quite exquisite.

Main Course
I guess 69 would be regarded as a traditional main course. Well tradition can be fine and there are plenty of variations on the basic dish. I call the two main varieties “sweet” when it involves a man and “savoury” when it is with a woman. My current preference is for the savoury variety.

These days I find that once sexual activity is underway there is nothing more raw and satisfying than going down on my partner and licking her out. It is the ultimate intimacy between two women; during which I am almost overpowered by the taste and smell of my lover up close. And there is a kind of telepathic connection that is established while she is doing and experiencing the same between my legs. I have enjoyed the sweet version of 69 many times and I think I am still bisexual enough to enjoy the taste and feeling of a gushing cock in my mouth. But for me the savoury variety is so much more intense. One of the reasons is that women seem to be so much more proficient at using their tongues.(Seriously men, don’t you ever practice?) I pride myself on my ability to reach deep with my tongue to places I know excite my partner,all the time savouring her taste and smell. Of course simultaneously she is doing the same thing to me. Our huhnger for each other intensifies until we uncontrollably gorge on the juices that are released.

Desert.
Something light and sweet. Delicate butterfly kisses… Lips, eyelashes, earlobes, nipples and then perhaps rest… Or maybe a french kiss; although that often leads to another main course…

Tumblr Picks 1 (Sophie’s Choice)

Cassie and I have a tumblr site where we collect images we both like. It is something we mainly do while we are apart. What happens is I look through the sites we follow and “like” some photos whic h I think will appeal to Cassie and she looks through and picks things she thinks I will like. Then when either of us look through our liked photos we find things we have chosen for each other. If we agree with the likes (which is virtually always) we then publish the photo on our own site. It’s a bit of fun. We thought we would share a bit of that fun here too. I am going to post some recent things I chose for Cassie and say why I chose them and later she will do the same.

A little warning and explanation first though. Tumblr is much more relaxed about adult content than WordPress , and if you visit our actual tumblr site you will find it is mostly “Adult Content”. Some of the images would be called pornographic by some people but we think of it as erotica and usually quite tasteful and sophisticated. We also have a lot of images connected with witchcraft and satanism which are also passions of ours, and some of those are quite erotic too. However, in these WordPress posts we have taken care to keep things as tame as possible and will not show anything too naughty. Even so, there may be some partial nudity and sexual references in the images that follow.

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Cassie likes kissing. We both do. There is nothing more sensual and sexy. Or as Cassie put it, nothing more beautiful to do. We have both kissed a lot of men in our time and that can be deeply fulfilling although men often think of kissing as a precursor to something else. But actually I think the proof that we are more lesbian than bisexual is that neither of us can think of anything much lovelier than kissing each other or the site of two women kissing each other passionately.

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I knew Cassie would like this. One morning soon after we met we were putting on our make up and Cassie started helping me with mine… I guess it is something primal; grooming your mate… It never looses it’s sex appeal.

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It isn’t but this could actually be Cassie. She is so at home in the forest or by the lake collecting leaves, making tinctures and burning incense. She has taught my daughter and I so much about witchcraft, about correspondences and elements. The magic flows out of her and is deeply enchanting to see. She would admit that she is a city girl but when we go into the country this earthy. witchy side of her really comes out and it really is magic.

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I think this is artistically beautiful but I chose it because Cassie loves classical ballet. She says she was never very good at it but she used to practice regularly and you can see it in her body. Add a few tattoos and this could easily be her.

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Cassie loves erotic art. She likes things that look classy but provocative. And sometimes she even paints things like this.

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This was kind of an obvious pick for Cassie. We have both grown to enjoy each other’s tastes and fetishes. She introduced me to blindfolds and I introduced her to leather.

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There is really not much I can say about this or want to. We both love this picture and I’ll let our readers work out what this says about some of the sexual psychology between me and Cassie.

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This is a scene from our all time favourite film “Amelie”. It hints at all kinds of beauty that exists in the places people are afraid to look.

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Smoking nuns. Smoking and nuns. Things that aren’t supposed to be sexy but are. Things which provoke and challenge. Things that can be dark or blasphemous. Yes we both like all that.

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Simply because this model is beautiful.We both fancy her. If she is not already bisexual or lesbian, we’d love to try and convert her. And then we’d like to corrupt that perfect skin with a few well chosen tattoos.

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Cassie introduced me to rituals of witchcraft and Satanism. Their power is hard to explain if you haven’t experienced them but they can also be creative, artistic and erotic.

All the above images were collected from various places on Tumblr where they were published openly. We don’t know where any of them originated but we would be happy to give credit where it is due. We wouldn’t have chosen them if we didn’t think they were good, so our thanks go to the original photographers, models and artists whoever they are.

 

Something New, Cassie &Sophie NSFW

Cassie & Sophie NSFW

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The reason this blog may have unexpectedly popped up among those you are following although you don’t remember subscribing to it, is that it occupies the space that was once Cassie Being Cassie. That blog is finished although you should still be able to find all that was once posted there in the archives of this blog. The post before this one will explain why CBC finished.

We are two politically incorrect women who live together in Switzerland. We already have two blogs; Devils Advocates which is about Satanism and Smokers Writes which is about what the name implies. In this blog we want to write about anything else that comes into our heads which doesn’t specifically fit into our other blogs. We also want to use this as a place to reblog anything we find interesting.

In case you don’t know, NSFW means not safe for work, in other words this is an adult blog that will certainly discuss themes and may include imagery that is not meant for anybody under the age of 18 (and could be embarrassing to have on your monitor screen while you are working).

We will certainly discuss sex here. Probably quite a lot. If such things offend you, it is time to tune out. We are a bisexual/lesbian couple and advocates of GLBT rights so if those things make your blood boil, stay healthy and stay away. Our philosophy is Satanism, we are interested in the occult and we practice witchcraft and while we welcome intelligent and open minded conversation on those subjects we do not welcome insults or idiots so if that would be your intention don’t waste your time here. We drink, we smoke and we fuck. If anything in that last sentence upsets you, this is probably not a blog for you. We have eclectic tastes and views on art, music, culture and politics. If you don’t share those interests you are going to get bored here. And finally in case it wasn’t clear, this blog is for adults only so if you are not one of those please go away now. (Seriously, we’ll tell your mum!)

Is there anybody left???

If so, you are very welcome and we hope you enjoy your stay.