Tag Archives: sexuality

Eight Years Of Corruption

Well, this particular blog has been completely dormant for about a year meaning I haven’t posted here in that time. I have been posting in Devil’s Advocates a bit more regularly but have a been a bit lapse there as well. However I got a notification from WordPress that it is eight years since I started blogging here and thought this might be a good time for a status update and some thoughts on where I and my writing are going from here.

Eight years does not seem long at all when you say it; but it is fair to say that my life has changed almost entirely in that time. My first post on this blog (which was called “Cassie Being Cassie” at that time) began by parodying Brigit Jones Diary and making reference to my then boyfriend and to the fact that I was an eclectic pagan witch. I had to cringe while reading it back to myself as it now seems like a very young and innocent version of the person I have become. https://justcassie.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/5/

There are some who would certainly use the word corruption to describe the process of growth I have been through in the intervening time; but I would prefer to use the terms enlightenment and maturation. For those who haven’t been following my blogs, the short version of the last eight years is that I became a Satanist, got a girlfriend, moved to Switzerland, adopted a daughter, had several promotions at work and wound up being leader of an independent Satanic coven.

“Cassie Being Cassie” changed to “Sophie and Cassie-Not Safe For Work” after Sophie and I got together. We have kept the blog going intermittently since then. At first it was a mixture of our philosophical and spiritual thoughts and opinions (we are both Satanists), quite a lot of sexual content and reblogs of things we liked on the blogs we followed. As time went by we moved most of the Satanic stuff to our other main blog “Devils Advocates”, and this blog was kept for reblogs and occasional musings on our sexual tastes and fetishes and thoughts on sex and gender politics. As more time passed our daughter came of age and became a Satanist herself, contributing to Devil’s Advocates and starting her own blog.

So where are we now, and what does the future hold? Well, more specifically, where am I now… (Sophie and Tina will speak for themselves later).

After a nervous first few months, Satanism became the cornerstone of my life and my world. I am not going to say much more about it here beyond this paragraph except to give an indication of the direction I am going in at the end of this post. I concede that my views and lifestyle are considered to be evil by many people. I think they are wrong in many ways but I don’t run away from the label as I once did. If Satan is evil, then so am I. I have given up all my previous ideas about morality which I now see as a purely subjective and unscientific concepts in the first place. I live by Satanic will and imperatives alone. I am not good. I have no desire to be anything other than honest to myself and my own wants and needs. I understand that what I have just said can sound very selfish and shallow to the uninitiated; but it really isn’t, and I have explained that more than enough in various blog entries. I am happy in my own skin and that is what matters. Still, as leader of a coven and as a relatively well known Satanist I hope I can continue to be a positive example of what modern Satanism is. Further thoughts specifically about Satanism will be continued in Devil’s Advocates and “another project…”

Musings about sex played quite a large part in this original blog and continued when Sophie joined in. It is still something I think about quite a lot because I enjoy it and it seems to be something that society as a whole is often conflicted about in ways that make me wonder how “civilized” or mature our species really is on this (and many other matters)! Sophie and I live by our own rules. Finding each other has probably been the biggest blessing in our lives and our relationship continues to be defined by very passionate love for each other. But we are both bisexual, or perhaps omnisexual as modern terminology catches up with the reality of people’s varied sexual tastes and experience. We have sex with each other and with others, sometimes together and sometimes separately. I have always thought that sex frequently has spiritual dimensions and overtones and I still firmly believe and experience that. However, I’m not ashamed to say I sometimes just like an adventurous or satisfying fuck and that could be with a man or a woman or any combination thereof! Sophie and I have always liked experimenting and we both enjoy various aspects of BDSM. We like porn too. We have our own tastes which for myself I like to think of as sophisticated and refined, but that includes some things which others might describe as hardcore. I do have a problem with porn though. Ideally porn and prostitution should be empowering to all involved; that includes the consumers and those who pose for pictures or provide sexual services. But it is naive to assume it always is that way. I do my best to avoid anything where there is a suspicion that anyone has been forced or coerced into taking part or where they have been filmed without their knowledge or consent. I’m sure however I have sometimes derived pleasure from porn that was not made in a way I would approve of and that makes me uncomfortable. I am thinking of joining or even starting some organisations that try to keep sex workers safe and increase respect for their profession; while at the same time reducing the sense in which prostitution and pornography are views as inherently bad or wrong. As long as meaningful consent and real choice are involved, I think erotica and all those who work in the sex industry are healthy and deserving of more respect than they normally get.

As I approach what some would call middle age, I am more comfortable in and with my (now heavily inked) body than ever before. And I hope and wish that all my regular readers will continue to enjoy the sexual aspect of their lives in whatever way satisfies them for a long time to come.

Looking to the future… In terms of my work-life I am now a senior manager in my company and have ideas and plans for improving my own prospects as well as those of my colleagues and the company itself. It will mean working even harder, but I have never been afraid of that. This should bring financial and material rewards for Sophie and I and we are thinking about moving home although staying in Switzerland. I am also going to apply for Swiss citizenship now that Britain seems obsessed with the national suicide that is called Brexit.

I also want to make time to concentrate on several writing projects I have in mind. I always wanted to invest more in writing but have often struggled to fit it in between all my other activities. I have now decided to make my writing ambitions a bit more concrete and hopefully my experience in blogging over the past eight years will be an advantage in that. One of my writing projects will be a semi-autobiographic book about Satanism which has been at the back of my mind for a number of years. I am also working on ideas for travel articles, and novels exploring sex and relationships in a way that I have always wanted to read. I have a few science fiction and fantasy ideas as well. In order to give myself some time for all those projects I am going to step back from blogging. I’m not going to say I won’t contribute at all to our blogs in future; if I have something I want or need to say I will do so…

Our blogs will not stop though. Sophie and Tina (who is now a thoughtful and enthusiastic Satanic woman in her own right) will continue with Devil’s Advocates and Smokers Writes, and may even continue to post here from time to time.

We are a strong family trio, with fingers in many pies, and our story will continue…

 

All women are bisexual…Sexual Identity

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In my mid twenties it became important for me to assert my sexual identity as bisexual. It seemed to me it was either deny it or live it and I chose to live it. Some people don’t make a big deal about such things. I don’t think I made a big deal about it, but I did make a deal of it to some degree. I was kind of aware that many of my choices in life were slightly against the norm. I was a pagan, I was a witch, I hung out with artists and musicians, I had tattoos, I drank and smoked quite a lot and most of the people I chose to have as friends were similar in many ways to me. But while my life and lifestyle may have seemed to be a bit outside society’s norms, it was normal for me. I had always been equally as attracted to women  as I had been to men sexually. The choice aspect was simply whether to live as a bisexual or to deny that side of things to myself. There was always a rebellious part of me (which still very much exists) which wanted to be open and upfront about my sexuality to challenge those who still clung to what I believe to be archaic prejudices about sex, race and gender. And so I was pretty open about being bisexual and I made the most of the opportunities that opened out to me!

Over the years my feelings about my own sexuality and sexuality in general have fluctuated a bit. There was a time when I thought women might be just for fun while men might be for longer term relationships involving babies and such. Then I went through a stage where I could quite happily identify as purely lesbian. I am now in a very happy and stable relationship with Sophie. However what has become clear is that neither of us are really lesbians. Our sexual tastes have grown and developed as a couple but we are both very aware of being bisexual. Luckily we have very similar tastes in men…

In any case we are pretty much at an age now where we don’t really care much about what others think. We do our own kinky things together and sometimes with others and it’s nobody’s business but ours. But a couple of things lately made me think about this subject again.

My step-daughter has become sexually active in the last year and is probably rather more self confident and worldly wise than I was at her age. (Although I was pretty keen to experiment and quick to learn myself)! What kind of fascinated me about her view of things is the degree to which sexuality seems like a non issue to her. Or rather, bisexuality is a non issue. It’s as if for her bisexuality is the default position. Perhaps that is how it should be. Perhaps the fact that she has been brought up by bisexual parents is an obvious factor. But it just seems curious to me that something which I felt obliged to “come out” and make a bit of a stand about, is even more normal to her than it was for myself and Sophie at her age. I think it is a good thing of course.

Then there was a study published this week that states that “most women are bisexual or gay but very seldom straight”.  http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/11/05/most-women-are-either-gay-or-bisexual-but-never-straight-says-study/

The survey found that straight women were strongly sexually aroused by videos of both attractive men and attractive women – despite identifying as heterosexual. By contrast, women who identified as lesbians exhibited a much stronger sexual response to women than to men. Dr Rieger, the leader of the the study said,   “Even though the majority of women identify as straight, our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight”

The Pink News article also goes on to report another study which found that; ” 43% of people identify themselves as somewhere between exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual – showing people increasingly see sexuality in a less polarised way.”

Well I think all of this is progress and it is all good. Indeed anecdotally I had come to the same conclusions myself. I have often said said that I think most people are somewhere on a spectrum of sexuality and very few people are exclusively one end or the other. I also believe that where we are on the scale can vary to some degree at different points of our life.

But there is something about these latest surveys that disturbs me. I don’t know what it is exactly. Partly it is because these results were published in various newspapers in a style that seemed mainly aimed at titillating the readers. In particular at titillating men. I also think there is a big difference between what turns people on in theory and what people’s sexuality actually is, a point which the first survey ignores. Also in part I think I resent scientists and the fullness of time being required to somehow legitimate feelings which are in essence perfectly normal and perfectly human. Perhaps I am just getting old!

Anyway I hope the main thrust of these reports is true and that our society is beginning to grow up about sex. My step daughter’s generation have inherited a lot of political, social and environmental problems which they will have to deal with. Hopefully they can at least enjoy full and happy sex lives in peace.

~Cassie~

Those of us who do.

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Our daughter recently got her first tattoo (well two small ones actually; one on her shoulder, another on her ankle). From her reaction, I doubt if they will be her last. She seems to have inherited our ink addiction along with several other vices that run in our family; smoking cigarettes for example…

After getting her tattoo we stopped off for a celebratory glass of wine and a cigarette in a nearby bar. While there she made an observation that most of the people in the smoking section also had tattoos. This is something I have noticed before but haven’t thought much about recently. Of course not all people who have tattoos smoke, and not all people who smoke have tattoos; but there does seem to be a significant correlation… And I don’t think it stops there…

Sophie, Tina and I seem to be in that group of people who do all the things that society often regards as dangerous, riske or taboo. We are the bad girls (and of course there are bad boys too). We are the ones that do.

Some people may think that Sophie and I are setting our daughter a bad example. We both smoke and drink quite a lot. We are both covered in tattoos. We both like to party when we have the opportunity. We swear and curse in a variety of languages. We are libertines who have interesting and active sex lives. We blag our way backstage at gigs and openings to meet interesting people. We are respectable and moral in our own way but we are certainly not prim, clean living, virtuous women.

And at the tender age of 16 our daughter is already following in our footsteps in many ways and no doubt has her own secrets and vices as well. Perhaps we should hold back… Perhaps we should sit her down and explain that we are not great role models… Perhaps we should be or should have been more strict and forbid her to do all the dangerous and naughty things we have been doing since we were her age?

Perhaps we should feel guilty that this innocent sixteen year old is already smoking as much as we do, swearing as much as we do, probably drinking more than she tells us, starting to enjoy and experiment with sex as much as we do, tainting her clear skin with ink as we have done, and who knows what else??

Well we don’t feel guilty. We are glad. We want her to be one of the people who does. For us, that is important.

Sophie and I hope to live for a long time and perhaps we will because we have a lot more pleasure in life and thus less stress than many people do. But because of our smoking and drinking and other things we do or have done we acknowledge we are at greater risk of some illnesses than others might be. Tina’s life prospects might be impacted in a similar way. Even so, if I were to die tomorrow, this ink stained and still quite nimble body will be evidence of a life fully lived and experienced. I’m quite sure as I approach the end of my thirties that I have already seen and done more than a lot of people twice my age. I wouldn’t wish anything less or anything more boring for my daughter. I am glad Tina is becoming one of those bad girls who do naughty but exciting stuff and I wish her all the fun, excitement and adventure in the world.

I guess all this sounds quite hedonistic? Well yes, we are for sure hedonists. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that hedonism doesn’t rule out being a nice, kind person. This is not the place to boast but Sophie and I both do a lot to help other people through our work and other activities. As for our daughter, everything she wants to do in her life and career revolves around helping other people and animals. She may swear like a trooper and she may have replaced her childhood innocence with adult pleasures and pastimes but she has a heart of pure gold and that is not likely to change.

The truth is, “those of us who do” are pretty cool people once you get to know us. Many of us are actually “nice” (although we might not admit it out loud).

Cassie

Without Consent It Is Rape

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A girl goes to a party, drinks too much, wakes up disheveled and disoriented behind a dumpster, battered and bruised and is taken to hospital. Over the course of the next few days the full horror of the abuse she has been subjected to becomes apparent. But at least there were witnesses to what happened to her (who may in fact have prevented the rape from being even worse) and the rapist has been caught. So surely justice will come quickly and fully? Not so. She then has to endure a whole year in which she is portrayed as the promiscuous guilty party who drank too much and pretty much deserved what she got. The perpetrator is portrayed as a normally good guy who just drank too much and got a bit carried away. The jury were not fooled and found him guilty on all charges. The judge however thought he deserved a break, after all he was an athlete with a glittering career ahead of him and why should half an hour of recklessness spoil his whole life; so the judge gave him the minimum sentence possible.

Well that is the story of Brock Turner the rapist and his victim. You have probably seen it in the news and read about it on the Internet. It doesn’t quite end there. The victim wrote an impact statement which was so articulate and so inspiring that it has gone viral. We have given a link to it at the end of this post and would urge absolutely everybody to read it. We think it should form the basis of a whole series of social and sex education classes in America and the civilised world.

We wanted to blog about this because we often write about sex. We are sex positive feminists. We like sex. We think sex is healthy and good. We have as much sex as possible with each other and sometimes with others. We enjoy what some call darker or kinky sex. There have been times in our lives when we could have been described as promiscuous. NONE OF THAT GIVES ANYBODY PERMISSION TO HAVE SEX WITH US OR ANYBODY ELSE. WITHOUT MEANINGFUL CONSENT, IT IS RAPE. ALWAYS.

We feel strongly about this because in writing this blog we assume our sentiments and our understanding is shared by other liberated and mature women and men and we want in our small way to normalise sex and sexuality; to bring it out of the closet and make it something that adults can enjoy and discuss openly and maturely.

But the reality is that there are some troglodyte boys out there who may never become real men and may never understand the realities of sex. So here is a message for anybody that is bordering on that mentality…

It is true that some women enjoy consensual sex a lot. Some women like to fuck and be fucked in all sorts of ways and situations as long as they give meaningful consent. Yes, some women, including us, like to be sexy, perhaps even provocatively so. But without consent you are not allowed to do anything. Without consent, you don’t even have the right to use our first names. We hope that is clear. 90% of people get it. If you are in the ignorant minority who don’t get it, seek counselling, because you are wrong and you risk hurting somebody and spending many years in prison.

Here is a link to the letter Brock Turner’s victim wrote and read out in court. It is a long and harrowing read but ultimately empowering and perhaps even hopeful. We urge all our readers to read it and let all its messages and implications sink in.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.nw8RMQYbe#.otGD1VNb5

Savoring the forbidden fruit

“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.”
W.B. Yeats, The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Some think that the forbidden fruit is evil and should not be touched. Some think that one bite will wipe away all your innocence and spoil you forever. Some of us doubt that is true. Some of us enjoyed giving in to temptation. Maybe we are dammed. Maybe we are just liberated… We tasted knowledge of the forbidden and enjoyed it…

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Have we lost our innocence? Perhaps. Are we changed? Certainly.

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But we like the taste of knowledge. We enjoy the pleasures of the senses. So we can either ignore the new world or we can indulge in it. We could try and run from the darkness or we could learn to navigate in it. We can find our own way; our own balance…

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We can ask for more…

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We can open our eyes…

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We can dance with the devil…

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We can acquire new tastes and desires…

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And celebrate life in the forbidden landscapes…

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Inhale… And be one with the music of our soul.

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“In youth, our blood rises and becomes volatile. Desire, worry, and anxiety increase. External circumstances now direct the rise and fall of emotions. Will and intention become constrained by social conventions. Competition, conflict, and scheming are the norm in interactions with people. The approval and disapproval of others become important, and the honest and sincere expression of thoughts and feelings is lost.”
Liezi, Lieh-tzu: A Taoist Guide to Practical Living

New Year, New Visions

Hervé Scott-Flament - Un baiser entre mille

Hervé Scott-Flament – Un baiser entre mille

New Year, New Visions.

This blog will remain a place where from time to time we reblog things we like from blogs we follow. We will also occasionally publish our own opinion pieces here. Through the archives you can still find what is in effect Cassie’s Diary; charting a period in her life when she went from being a single bisexual pagan girl looking after her dying mother to a more mature lesbian woman living with her girlfriend and adopted daughter.

But starting this year we will also be publishing here some of the wide range of art and imagery we have collected over the years (much of it adult oriented) perhaps juxtaposed with text which may or may not be connected with the pictures.

Cassie and Sophie will remain very much Not Safe For Work.

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Christmas Reality Bites

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Cassie and I have been working on some quite naughty and revealing things to put in this blog. This will still happen but perhaps not until the New Year. I think in 2015 this blog will become darker and sexier, but not just yet. Right now doesn’t seem appropriate…

We have been planning to celebrate this Christmas season together in Zurich, just me Cassie and my daughter. It has been a big year for the three of us and we want to celebrate as a family reflecting on all we have been through, all that has changed in our lives and where we are at now.

And we will do that, but there has been a complication.

Those who have been reading this blog for a long time will know that it started as Cassie’s blog several years before she met me and we got together. You may also remember that Cassie’s mother is ill, suffering from a rare form of early onset dementia. Sadly her condition has recently deteriorated badly. So our Christmas plans are a little bit on hold.

Since Cassie and I moved in together she has of course managed to visit her mother in England at least once every month. We don’t write about it because there is usually not much to say except that there is no change in her mother’s condition and the whole situation is quite sad. Well now her mother has suffered a bad fall and some broken bones and because of the other problems with her health the outlook is not looking good.

Cassie went to England yesterday and we don’t yet know where we will actually spend Christmas. But we will be together no matter what happens.

I would like to write an essay about how amazingly Cassie copes with this sader side of her life but she wouldn’t want me to. However she did say I could mention what is going on in our lives at the moment for background information. There are many sides to all people, including us.

We wish our readers all the best in this winter holiday season. If you are celebrating, do it in style and have fun!